How to be happy and confident. How to be confident in yourself - advice from a psychologist

Self-confidence runs like a bright thread through all spheres of human life. Success at work, in personal life and friendships depends on it. Without faith in oneself one cannot safely socialize and fulfill oneself. But what if, due to insecurity, you can’t meet anyone or don’t even dream of moving up the career ladder? What to do if you feel your own potential, but you can't release it? Learn how to believe in yourself in this article.

Self-confidence is a personal and behavioral quality associated with. In addition, confidence is associated with anxiety, aggressiveness and a number of social factors.

E. V. Golovina defines the attitude of an individual to uncertainty as certainty. That is, uncertainty is often caused by fear of many future options for the development of an event. You can read about how to deal with the fear of uncertainty or other fears in the article.

An excess of self-confidence is just as dangerous as its deficiency. This is confirmed by the results of the study by E. V. Golovina. The author found that overconfident people are different:

• negativism (acting in defiance, refusing to do something, putting someone in their place);
• verbal and indirect (door banging, stomping) aggression;
• infantilism (reactions characteristic of adolescence).

However, than more confident man, the more resistant it is to influence negative emotions(fear, anxiety, indignation). Initiative in communication depends on self-confidence and social courage.

An insecure person is socially timid. Moreover, the more often more influence negative emotions(timidity, embarrassment, embarrassment) he is exposed to, the more they affect him. An insecure person has difficulty making decisions or initiating actions (such as speaking).

Causes of self-doubt

Uncertainty is more characteristic of a inhibited personality type. Moreover, innate characteristics have less influence than social learning. As a rule, insecurity stems from childhood, punishments and censure for unwanted behavior.

Notice! Any behavior can be regarded as undesirable depending on the subjectivity. The usual "Don't go!" can drown out the curiosity, initiative, activity of the child, but in the eyes of the mother to develop calmness and obedience of the baby. That is, for the mother from our example, the desire to know everything (“climb”) is an undesirable behavior. And for you? Here is an example of subjectivity in all its glory. Based on this, first of all, I recommend that you remember your relationship with your parents and evaluate them, your actions and emotions with an adult look. Are there any reasons for your insecurity?

The cause of uncertainty may be:

• destructive style of family education (intimidation, punishment, excessive demands, ignoring, etc.);
• pronounced processes of inhibition of the psyche (features of temperament);
• fear in any of its manifestations (for example, fear of uncertainty, fear of being rejected and misunderstood);
• low self-esteem;
• low motivation to achieve success;
• high level of anxiety;
• low level of will and self-control;
• intrapersonal conflicts;
• the contradiction between (what I am, what I want to be, what I can, how I see myself, how others see me).

Like most problems, insecurity is most often based on both a biological factor and a social one. If the former is almost impossible to change, then the influence of the latter can be corrected.

The structure of self-confidence

Self-confidence consists of social courage, the intensity of emotions, the strength of the influence of experienced emotions. If there is a strong expression of emotions such as anger, then the initiative in communication is more often negative in nature (a surge of emotions) and is associated with a person's excitability. If emotions include fear and other inhibiting experiences, then social initiative is reduced. The man is timid.

Based on self-confidence, there are 3 types of people:

1. Unsure. They are characterized by high excitability, intensity of emotions. They are sometimes aggressive.
2. Overconfident. They do not need contacts, are prone to negativism, have low excitability and expressiveness of emotions (unemotional).
3. Moderately confident. They are emotional, they need contacts.

Insecurity, as a rule, provokes two patterns of behavior: flight or aggression. Your task is to learn the third form, socially acceptable - the verbal rational solution of situations.

Thus, self-confidence is a feeling of inner control. A self-confident person knows what may soon arise in his environment, and how to cope with it.

What to do?

First of all, you should understand for yourself that self-confidence is an acquired quality. It certainly depends on innate individual features, but in general is formed through the influence of society and self-education.

Uncertainty and fears

Uncertainty is usually based on fears. Figure out what you're really afraid of. Find the root of the problem. It is important to get rid of fear. The main principle of the struggle is to act.

I will briefly present here the main ways to overcome the most popular fears, combined with insecurity (the material is borrowed from the work of D. Schwartz "The Art of Thinking Big").

Figure: fear with self-doubt and ways to cope with it

Uncertainty and memory

Sometimes uncertainty is associated with memory overhead. That is, doubts arise on the basis of a lack of information about a similar situation, and indeed are associated with memory. If you ask your brain to find confirmation of your weakness, failure, awkwardness, or something else, then it will give you many examples from the past. But as soon as you formulate the request differently, ask to show situations where you were at your best, and the brain will give a bunch of positive results for this request.

I suggest you constantly work with your repository of situations and images:

1. Enter only successful situations there (gratitude from friends, getting a job). Play pleasant thoughts, achievements, gratitudes, successes before going to bed. Even if you witnessed someone doing a good deed, write it down in your bank (but not in the context of “Why not me? Oh yes, I’m too insecure and weak for this”). Just fill your inner piggy bank with positive emotions.
2. In a difficult situation, take from the piggy bank only pleasant, motivating confirmations of your solvency, and not vice versa.

When you dwell on failures, you end up in vicious circle and find yourself on the sidelines of life. Anxiety and feelings of inadequacy develop. The brain becomes more and more difficult to work, because it becomes more and more polluted.

The deeper and longer negative thoughts live in the brain, the more confident and bigger they become, until they eventually turn into real monsters that poison your life. Can you just imagine how many such illegal immigrants have in the head of an insecure person? Although why illegal immigrants? You feed them yourself, nurture them, which means that everything is legal and voluntary.

Here's a comical way to deal with your monsters. Visualize them, give names. Draw on a sheet and eradicate. How is up to you. Get creative.

Uncertainty as self-destruction

Look at your insecurities from a different angle. Don't you think it's self-destructive? This is an ungrateful attitude to one's talent, abilities, potential (and every person has it all). After all, isn't this an insult to being given the chance to live?

Why are you punishing yourself? Answered? Now act! Yes, there is only one way to overcome uncertainty - self-development, breaking yourself. Will have to consciously go through individually difficult situations, deal with fears, resentments - everything that sits in you and prevents you from moving forward.

Remember where the roots of your insecurity might be? Family, school, first love? Who told you that you don't deserve to be self-sufficient? Do you think that you are ugly, but because of that you are insecure? Who told you this? MASS MEDIA? Destructive style parenting? An envious environment? The person who is next to you right now?

In the end, think about it: do you suffer from your insecurity? I'm talking about whether your parents taught you this, for example. Perhaps it was they who were so afraid of the world that they inspired the same in you? Try to look at the world with your own eyes, discarding the usual prism of learned uncertainty.

Exercise "Three reasons to live"

As we have already found out, uncertainty is self-destruction, mental murder, unwillingness to live. I offer you a simple exercise for every day.

Daily write down three of your own successes (reasons to believe in yourself and live). Whether you like it or not! Once you decide to fight, then fight and win! Nobody promised that it would be easy. Write any little thing. Or consciously do something so that you can write it down later.

The next day, reread the entire list (with all previous days). You won't believe it, but it's all you! This list will grow every week. I do not think that the person whose portrait of achievements you end up with can be considered unworthy. Let's see if you can then be just as insecure about yourself.

How to stop being afraid of social contacts

Remember, earlier I said that uncertainty is directly related to social initiative, activity in contacts? So, it's important. Understand that people have more in common than differences. Your task is to look at people in a different way.

1. You and your opponent are equally respected and significant. Your goal is to discuss mutually important things in order to achieve common goals. Do not be afraid to ask questions, clarify details, ask you to listen. But be respectful yourself. Often, insecurity arises from the fact that one person considers the other more significant. Yes, for example, at work by status it can be more tall man. But essentially you have the same problems and interests. There is no point in being afraid. The same is true in any relationship. It makes no sense to be insecure in front of your partner, and even more so in front of a stranger.
2. Do not take any negative splash of people in your address. If you didn’t do anything bad, then the person probably just “recouped” you. But in fact, he has problems in other respects, and he himself is not confident in himself. Show understanding and empathy. Praise yourself that you have become a kind of “psychotherapist” for someone.
3. Be honest and fair. Feeling guilty is one of the most destructive feelings. Criminals, traitors, liars sooner or later give themselves away. Nothing suppresses self-confidence like a justified, incident-based disrespect for oneself. Remember "Crime and Punishment" by F. M. Dostoevsky? I think the idea is clear.

The most important principle for overcoming insecurity in dealing with people is to act confidently. Don't doubt your choice. There is no right and wrong. There is your decision, experience and consequences that you must be able to handle.

The mind follows the body

Do you know from psychology the fact that forcibly evoked emotions (for example, a smile) gradually become real sensations, states, true emotions? The same is true for overcoming self-doubt.

1. Begin acquaintance with people or any meeting with a handshake (hugs).
2. Maintain eye contact.
3. Confidently and clearly say: “Nice to meet you!” or "Nice to meet you!"

The brain will respond to such confident actions with true self-confidence.

Challenge your insecurities regularly.

1. Sit in the front rows at meetings. Yes, you can be involved in some kind of discussion, they will pay attention to you, look into your eyes. But that is exactly what we are striving for. I promise that it will be hard only in the beginning. Over time, you yourself will begin to enter into discussions.
2. Look into the eyes. Don't look away if someone has made contact with you. Averting the eyes is always perceived by the opponent not only as uncertainty, but also as your attempts to hide something, to lie, to understate. To be honest, I taught myself to look people in the eyes for a very long time. It's not easy. When I first began to dive into the world of psychology, I immediately realized that I would have to reshape myself. It is probably from simple self-knowledge that my activity has resulted. And the deeper I go into psychology, the more I understand that there is no end to work on myself. In principle, there is no limit to perfection. So, I learned to look into the eyes for a long time. It was true torture. But you, dear reader, have no idea how valuable this skill is. You see the reaction of the interlocutor, his emotions. As a rule, to feel confident, you just need to see the answer in the eyes of the other, sincere interest.
3. Keep your back straight and your shoulders straightened, your head up, that is, watch your posture. At the same time, walk with quick (but unhurried) big steps. Body and mind are inextricably linked and interdependent. If it’s not very successful to agree with the brain yet, then create an outwardly confident person out of yourself. Confident people walk on important meeting without shuffling, without slouching or bowing her head. They walk clearly and directly, rushing to do something meaningful (rather than run away from something).
4. Smile. When you are afraid, when you are unsure, when you are upset, when. Confident and strong people smile, smile broadly.
5. Be active. Express your opinion. When you once again suppress your own potential, then at times you begin to feel worse. Comment, make suggestions, express an opinion, ask questions. Yes, it's not easy again. You have to force yourself first. Make it a rule to stop being silent.
6. Learn to adequately assess your knowledge, skills and abilities and appreciate, respect yourself for it. Upgrade your skills regularly. I recommend making a written portrait of your skills. Visibility is always helpful.
7. Learn to plan your time. Confident people have the ability to productive use personal time and scheduling it. Don't put anything off until later. Break big goals down into many small, manageable tasks. But at the same time, remember that deviations are always possible due to circumstances. They should not unsettle you.
8. Take on the tasks that you are sure you can do. Create success situations for yourself. You can not live only by challenges to yourself. Confidence can sometimes be built through simple successes.
9. For last, I've saved the most radical and "terrible" way to increase self-confidence. I suggest you sign up for some club, circle. For example, theatrical or poetic. The most extreme option is standup.

Thus, confidence can be developed through teaching, persuasion, and suggestion. These are three strongholds, noted back in 1983 by T. D. Kalistratova.

It has been scientifically proven that all people have the skills of confident behavior, they just do not know how to use them. If you can’t manage on your own, then sign up for a training in confident behavior. Today it is a common service. Such trainings allow you to realize and feel dominance over your emotions (no one can regulate your state if you do not allow it), reveal all the ways and teach you how to deal with them. This increases self-confidence.

Confident person skills

I want to introduce you to the skills that are characteristic of a self-confident person, that is, this is what you need to strive for (I took the material of E.V. Golovina as a basis).

1. Persistence in your goals and requirements. The ability to repeat a request, a question, remind yourself.
2. Adequate attitude to constructive criticism, acceptance of one's mistakes.
3. The ability to concentrate on meaningful information in a conversation, not to pay attention to random "attacks".
4. The ability to learn from your own mistakes, but not to feel excessive guilt.
5. The ability to calmly talk about your shortcomings, listen to the claims of a partner. The ability to discuss together what he wants to hear from you, how to see you.
6. The ability to be open, to talk about one's own mistakes and shortcomings. Equally be able to discuss positive and negative traits their character and way of life.
7. Give preference to compromises in resolving controversial issues.

Afterword

Uncertainty does not stem from the future. Uncertainty grows from the past, and through its prism we see the present. All insecure people have experienced the situation that made them so. But there is no point in dwelling on the past. Find the source and work through it.

We can talk about old grievances, unfinished relationships, traumas. Lots of stuff. It's very individual. If you cannot find the root yourself, please go to a personal consultation with a psychologist. Until you rip out and throw away that rock that is tied around your neck, any confidence training will, alas, be ineffective. It's like a painkiller: it relieves symptoms, it seems like it allows you to lead a normal life, but the infection continues to rot and grow.

Eradicate the old negativity, do not collect a new one, do not dwell on failures (yes, you still cannot do without them, you need to accept it). You may be surprised, but the human brain itself is able to remove unpleasant memories. So you just need to help your brain work for your benefit.

Literature on the topic

In parting, according to tradition, I recommend reading the book. Today it is the work of B. Tracy "The Power of Self-Confidence". The book is a practical guide to increasing self-confidence, getting out of your comfort zone, and increasing self-esteem. At work you will find detailed description the phenomenon of self-confidence, and recommendations for overcoming insecurity, and many interesting thoughts.

I hope that the material of my article and Tracy's work will be useful for you in practice. I wish you success in your rebirth!

Before we dive headlong into building true self-confidence, let's take a step back and try to understand what confidence is.

Confidence is knowing that what you own will eventually become what you want and make you happier. it necessary condition to turn an idea into action.

Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself when a big deal is coming up, raise your hand when it comes up. interesting project, or speak at a conference (and without any excitement!). Confidence is not a 100% guarantee that everything will always work out, but it helps you get out of your comfort zone, push your boundaries and set the course for success.

Statistics confirm that success has more to do with confidence than competence. So here are five steps to self-confidence.

1. Play confident

As strange as it may sound, but to learn to be truly confident, at first you can imitate confidence. In the wild, some animals pretend to be brave in the face of danger. Pretend you too.

Self-hypnosis doesn't work. Our brain analyzes and compares our expectations with our experience and real life situation. If these two aspects do not match, the brain gets out of control and you begin to experience stress. Anxiety and negative thoughts appear, due to which all self-confidence disappears. So how can we be?

Better prepare for an exciting situation, rehearse in front of a mirror (pay attention to both tone of voice and facial expressions) and look at others positively, enjoy communicating with them. This will give the brain “reason enough” to believe that our positive attitude corresponds to a favorable external situation, and confidence will appear by itself.

2. Remember that you expect more from yourself than others from you.

The good news is that the whole world will believe what you show. Thank God, no one can read your thoughts, know about fears and anxiety.

The bad news: you can misinterpret any sideways glance, any random word, any reaction of people to your actions, and then worry about this (far-fetched) reason.

In this case, psychologists recommend listening to your inner voice (do not be scared ahead of time, no one is going to persuade you to engage in self-hypnosis). Do a little experiment: for one week, write down what thoughts are spinning in your head (exact wording) when you lack self-confidence.

By simply recording and analyzing your inner dialogue, you will be one step closer to reducing and hopefully eliminating such thoughts entirely.

In addition, it is useful to write down and keep at hand a list of your achievements, experiences, events that made you feel significant, confident, understand that your actions are beneficial.

Every time your inner voice gets out of hand, take a three-minute break, pick up a list, and remind yourself how good you can be. Present your brain with tangible evidence when you need extra reassurance.

3. Keep track of your physical condition

I understand it's a cliché to say that you need to take care of your health, but this cliché didn't appear out of nowhere. Have you ever wondered why, without exception, all successful leaders regularly go in for sports? If you overwork, eat fast food, sleep little, and lead a largely sedentary lifestyle, it becomes harder to show the world best version myself.

You don't have to train until you drop for hours a day: a 30-minute walk from work to home or climbing the stairs to the 10th floor can be enough to release endorphins. Start with small changes in your usual way of life, gradually get used to them.

Difficulties and, accordingly, stress must be added to your life in very small portions. You need to wrap yourself around your finger so that both the physical and mental health were in balance.

4. Increase returns, change your internal dialogue

Do you know why most people's communication skills leave a lot to be desired? Because they are in their own thoughts. Instead of focusing on their interlocutor and demonstrating their disposition, they think how not to blurt out nonsense and what would be so smart to say next. The main reason for this behavior: they are poorly prepared.

It is almost impossible to be truly confident in yourself if you are not prepared enough to show yourself with better side. Think about the people you are talking to. What do they really want? What's stopping them? How can you help them?

If you focus on helping your interlocutor, you will get rid of anxiety and get the same genuine interest in response.

This method is worth using to promote your services or if you want to impress at any event.

Spend time researching materials on the topic and your audience. Every hour spent on this activity will bring a disproportionate result. And what happens when you get a positive response? You guessed it - you'll gain lasting, genuine self-confidence.

5. Fail fast, fail often

A terrifying word that paralyzes even outstanding people and prevents them from achieving success - failure. It especially haunts those who are perfectionists by nature and are chronically afraid of doing something wrong.

But failures in our life happen, it's just inevitable. In fact, if you are not mistaken, then you are not learning anything new. Remember Ramit Seti's saying more often: "It's not a failure - it's a test."

You're just checking that it won't work. And when you know this, you can move on and find ways that will lead to the desired result.

And most importantly: once you come to your senses after another "failure", you realize that you do not feel empty. After all, it is this experience that helps you face your fears and achieve your goals in the future.

In this article we will talk about leadership quality, the quality of a real man is confidence. How to develop this quality, how to become self-confident, what it will give you in life, etc. do not miss!

Confidence- not given to us at birth (contrary to this opinion). On this quality (as well as on many others) you constantly need to WORK and PRODUCE IN YOURSELF!

Why is it necessary to WORK and PRODUCE?

• First, because without confidence, nowhere. I think you yourself understand this! Confidence is essential to SUCCESS in any field. Relationships, business, sports, politics, etc. the list is endless.
• Secondly, because confidence is one of the main qualities that defines a real man. Not a boy, not a guy, but a MAN with EGGS.

If you are insecure = this is your decision, your choice. To be sure or not to be, it's only your choice. Do you understand? In other words, like everything in this life. Everything depends on you.

If you really HAVE a DESIRE = you want => act. If you have NO DESIRE = you do not want = and nothing will help you = you are inactive. There is no third!

An article for those who HAVE a DESIRE and who WANT TO BE SURE. Who wants to CHANGE! Work on yourself. Plow. Pump yourself. I have a desire. And you?

Self confidence- begins, first of all, with inner faith in oneself!

If you yourself do not cause this feeling in yourself, if you yourself do not believe in yourself (although who else if not you?), then how are you going to become a truly self-confident person? This is where it all starts.

CONCLUSION: confidence starts with INTERNAL BELIEF IN YOURSELF! Believe in yourself! In everything, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter how you act, you are doomed to success. You are a man, so think like a man, make decisions like a man, talk like a man and act like a man.

If you yourself program yourself for negative thoughts, nothing will come of it. If you think you're a failure and you won't succeed, then that's exactly what will happen. It all starts with thoughts in our head (within us), so watch them, don't allow such bullshit, believe in yourself!

Life is a pain, was born in the wrong country, the government is so and so, your girl ** left / changed, salaries are about nothing, how to live at all, a lot of problems, why do I need all this, I'm fat, I'm skinny, I have no money, nothing, no car, no apartment / house, no girlfriend, I'm a sucker, a loser, etc. etc.

This is not masculine behavior! Complaints, whining, etc. is a WEAKNESS, a manifestation of an insecure person. All this needs to be eradicated, sifted out, cut down at the same time - instantly in the bud.

Otherwise, all this whining, complaints and other negativity, negative thoughts will oppress you, drive you into depression, thereby making you an UNCONFIDENT person!

CONCLUSION: Confident people never complain or whine.

Yes, believe me, I understand perfectly well what are really difficult life situations. But this is life! Do you understand? That's life! We all have difficulties, problems, failures, failures, stresses, jambs, etc. etc., without this - nothing. But, you must always move forward. No matter how hard it is, just keep moving forward.

You have to forget about complaining/whining etc., you just need to move forward, take and do while others whine/complain. This is the position of strong, confident, successful individuals.

No matter how difficult, hard, bad it was, you can not give up under any circumstances. You need to look for a way out, solve a problem, a way, take it and do it, this is the position of real strong and confident men.

You will whine, cry, and complain about everything - you will be in the ass. If this has already happened - get out of this asshole! After all, if you move forward, in spite of everything, you will begin to really appreciate yourself, become a strong successful, and of course a self-confident person.

Council number 3. Do not dwell on failures and the past.

As I said, we all have difficulties, problems, failures, failures, stresses, jambs, etc. etc. However, you don't need to dwell on it. Only forward and only. Remember?

The more you live in the past, the more opportunities you lose in the future.

Never reproach (criticize) yourself in anything. Don't get hung up. Draw appropriate conclusions (learn the lesson(s)) and take them into account in the future. This is the position of strong, confident, successful individuals.

Moreover, don't be afraid to endure and fail (or fail) at anything. All these failures are an invaluable EXPERIENCE that develops you and makes you stronger and generally better.

Council number 4. Don't compare yourself to other people!

Never, under any circumstances.

This is harmful, because. lowers self-esteem. The fact is that no person will compare himself with someone who is worse than him! And in life there will always be someone who will be better than you in this or that or in everything.

This is where negative thoughts and envy begin. Damn, he's better than me, and he has a better car, a cooler apartment, a prettier girl, better clothes, he's doing better, blah blah blah ...

As a result, self-esteem falls, something is wrong with me, I'm somehow not like that, I'm not better, I'm worse, damn it, ahhh, as a result, internal uncertainty arises. Chop any negative thoughts in the bud.

So what? Realistically, so what if someone is better? Yes, to hell with them! You really should not give a shit about this. You are a person, you have your own life! Live your life. Take care of yourself and be yourself.

CONCLUSION: watch yourself, and never compare yourself with other people, because this makes no sense.

Council number 5. Don't criticize yourself or other people.

This is the position of weak, insecure individuals.

Criticism of oneself contributes to the formation negative perception himself! When you say something (bad about yourself) = you are programming yourself for it. You don't need to do this! As I said earlier, we made a mistake, mistakes, messed up, made the appropriate conclusions (learning the lesson (s)) and take them into account in the future, period. We need to move forward and only forward, no matter what.

Criticism of other people contributes to the formation of an insecure and notorious person. Do not waste your strength, your energy, your time on this, there is no point in this, absolutely none. Focus on yourself. For your purposes. And move only forward.

All this is the position of CONFIDENT, strong, successful personalities. And be sure to check out these articles:

Council number 6. Take care of yourself and don't be a jerk.

Start doing things that help you develop a certain way of life. Those. do those things that will increase your self-esteem and, as a result, self-confidence.

start walking in gym or go in for some other sport, eat well, dress well, take care of yourself, your appearance, body, take care of hygiene, develop in general, read books, articles, literature, improve yourself, create versatile hobbies for yourself - all this will help you love yourself, begin to appreciate, gain respect for yourself, and of course - confidence.

About clothes, by the way, if you know that you are well, beautifully and expensively dressed, then your self-esteem rises, you feel and behave in a completely different way than in cheap junk.

If you eat well, take care of yourself, your appearance, develop, etc. etc. then you love yourself and treat yourself with respect. You know your worth, you are a self-confident person!

About goals, by the way, set goals for yourself!! When you achieve what you want, your self-esteem will skyrocket, be sure. Confidence is based on a sense of victory. When you win (achieve yours, your goals, desires, etc.), you become more and more confident in yourself. With each victory, you respect yourself more and more, because you set goals for yourself, and you achieve them, therefore you are cool. In simple terms 🙂 Learn:

You see, if drunks are next to you, if your environment is drunks, then it is very likely that you will very soon and imperceptibly for yourself)) turn into the same drunk.

Another example on our topic. If next to you will be (surround you) some whiners and losers, then you will reincarnate into the same weirdo. Do you need it?

If you value yourself, you will never waste time on people who are unworthy of you, who bring nothing into your life, but only waste time on some kind of garbage, make you weaker, drag you to the bottom, torment you, “give you »only negative, etc. etc.

The same with girls. Don't rely on just anyone. I understand that in modern world full of s**, and in general you want to blow everyone in a row, having as many females as possible, but my advice to you: know how to choose.

If you win a beautiful, smart, high-quality cool and self-aware girl, your self-esteem will skyrocket. After all, if she is so cool, and you won her and she is with you, then you are cool too. Do you understand? The easiest way is to remove the bum from the Kursk railway station, but there will be no such effect with her.

Tip #8. Chat, make new acquaintances, speak in front of an audience(s).

New acquaintances in real life (in life, and not in social networks on the Internet) are new impressions, something not familiar, new experience, knowledge, this is communication in general, this is overcoming fears, insecurities, doubts, etc. it liberates, makes open, helps to become more self-confident.

Speaking in front of an audience (s) is generally top notch, which is guaranteed to make you EVERYTHING CONFIDENT and CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF every time!

Tip #9. Express your personal position.

Do not be afraid! Don't be shy, etc. for all this is a manifestation of weakness and self-doubt.

Someone's condemnation, opinion, etc. you shouldn't worry. You are a person! You should have your own opinion, so express it. Rest assured, there will always be someone who disagrees with you on a particular issue. Well, to hell with him, be yourself, you are a man, a self-confident person!

Self-confident people never pay attention to other people's opinions. Self-confident people don't care what other people think. What other people think of them. What they say about them, etc. self-confident people don't prove anything to anyone, they don't care, they don't care! Confident people are purposeful. They move forward and only forward, reaching their goal!

Tip number 10. Be independent and don't rely on anyone.

The ability to solve your problems is a sign of a strong, really successful male. Male, with eggs * mi, which is not AFRAID OF RESPONSIBILITY! Not afraid to take responsibility for himself, his life, decision making, etc. A male who CONTROLS THE SITUATION, not THE SITUATION BY THEM! A male who does not go with the flow, but chooses a direction convenient for him.

Here, check out this article:

Tip #11. After a while (I finish writing) = GET RID OF YOUR FEARS! BREAK YOUR FEARS!

Break your fears. Challenge yourself. This boosts your self-confidence tremendously!

How to break your fear? How to get rid of it? => The best way is to "look the emu in the face". Yes, it's scary, but you need to ACT, with inner BELIEF IN YOURSELF! With faith in SUCCESS!

That's all. READING ALL THIS IS NOT ENOUGH - APPLY YOUR KNOWLEDGE!!! WORK ON YOURSELF. Always work, work and work again. Inaction will not bring you anything. You have to be constantly working on yourself! Only in this way can something be achieved. The only way. Good luck!

Best regards, administrator.

The world can only submit to those people who believe in themselves and their strength. Life in general is a funny thing, because it is often not the one who is strong physically who achieves more, but the one who has a strong spirit. Some try to hide in a corner, hide, hide from people in case of any, even the most insignificant failure, while others keep their cool and continue to believe in themselves even when their whole world is collapsing. What is the secret? Is it necessary to be born strong?

Of course not. Anyone can become exactly who they want. Is it difficult to do this? Yes, it is difficult, but if you can believe in yourself, then everything in this life will become simple and accessible for you. The game is worth the candle, which means the question "How to become stronger?" relevant for everyone. Winners are not born, but made! Luck accompanies only those who believe in themselves.

And more confident

Every person has something that he is proud of. This may be the building he erected in the center big city or an impeccable game of checkers, it can be a signed million dollar contract or a victory in a small, insignificant competition - it doesn’t matter at all what the subject of your pride is, since what is more important is that you have it. Constantly remind yourself of your victory, and also remind other people about it (just don't overdo it). This will give you self-confidence and allow you to achieve new victories, which you can also be proud of in the future.

How to become stronger and more confident? You just need to learn how to set goals. Remember that you can’t just take it and learn to fly: first a person learns to crawl, then to walk, then to run, and then he can begin to seriously think about flying. Move from simple to complex - this will help you become more confident. The circuit is very simple, but it actually works.

Don't be discouraged by failures. The fact is that there is no such person in the world who would never lose. Strong people differ from the weak not in that they win all the time, but in that they do not give up then. When they are defeated. How to become stronger? Take failure as a gift of fate that will help you reassess the situation and start acting more correctly.

How to become more confident? Do what scares you. Something that you used to think was real madness. And how else would you like to get rid of your fears. Look into their eyes and they will disappear. Don't believe? Take it and try it yourself!

Very important appearance. A woman who thinks about how to become strong character, first of all, she must make her appearance simply flawless. Why? Yes, because we often feel exactly the way we look. Any person, wearing an expensive suit, will immediately straighten his shoulders, as this suit will add to his self-confidence. A man should definitely play sports. Firstly, it will make him physically stronger, and this moment will affect his self-confidence, and secondly, because even the slightest achievements in the field of sports will make him proud of himself. A woman should not spare money for herself, as expensive things will help her feel more significant and powerful.

How to become stronger? Choose for yourself and act exactly as this person would act. Do not trifle, but choose a truly worthy person for this.

Strength and confidence can give any cherished dream. A person develops only when he has something to strive for. This dream cannot be easily realized, as its fulfillment can affect you badly. May it be distant and inspiring.

It is possible and even necessary to become strong and confident. Happiness in life is difficult to win, but even harder to keep it. The world is not so easy to submit - you need to fight it.

Self-doubt not only prevents you from setting and achieving your desired goals in life, building interpersonal relationships, but also unpleasant emotional experience. Insecure people often dream not so much of gaining faith in themselves in order to achieve more in life, but to get rid of the painful feeling of their own inadequacy that arises from failure or social contacts.

Self-confidence: psychology

Self-confidence is a concept in psychology that describes emotional condition or a stable personal quality, the essence of which is the acceptance of one's individuality, a positive assessment of one's abilities, skills and rights. Confidence is in psychology the ability to allow oneself to have certain requests and the absence of fear or guilt when presenting them to the environment, initiative and courage in social contacts.

From the point of view of psychology, confidence is the norm, a sign of a healthy, harmonious personality. This is a quality that every person should strive for when engaging in self-development. Self-confidence must be distinguished from self-confidence (confidence in the absence of negative qualities in oneself, arrogance, a tendency to treat others with disdain).

Characteristic features of a self-confident person are the following skills.

1. Playfulness, a tendency to improvise, open and spontaneous self-expression.
2. The ability to admit their mistakes, but without self-abasement and self-blame.
3. Calm perception of both claims and compliments addressed to you.
4. Ability to discuss and express directly and honestly personal opinion, even if unpopular in society.
5. The ability to repeat a request, a question, to remind another person of a promise given to them. Willingness to protect their interests and rights.

For an insecure person, the presentation of their point of view, achievements, needs, desires is accompanied by a mass of negative experiences (fear, embarrassment, shame, guilt). The more insecure a person is, the more difficult it is for him to take active steps to achieve his goals, to take independent solutions. Too much energy is wasted on worry and doubt. A confident person is not afraid of possible failures and is not unsettled for a long time.

How to become a confident woman: the psychology of an excellent student

The complex of an excellent student, also known as perfectionism, is the problem of most insecure women. A “good” girl still lives inside them, who is obliged to bring home only fives. A girl who was let go for a walk in a white dress, and she returned home in the evening without a single spot. Such women simply do not give themselves the right to make a mistake or an imperfect result. After all, this is no longer an “excellent” rating. As a result, any unimportant business becomes very energy-consuming, and the presence of even minor flaws in the completed project is accompanied by an acute experience of guilt and shame.

Women with an honors complex are very easy to manipulate. The bosses often put the most difficult work on them and ask more from them than from other employees. Although financially encourages in no way, realizing that hypertrophied responsibility will do its job.

This inner little excellent student has tremendous power over consciousness. It is her voice that discourages you from trying something new, because for sure you will not be able to achieve perfection in an unfamiliar business with a swoop. So why try? It is this little monster with bows that forbids you to enjoy life and makes you feel unworthy of anything good, until you lose weight, get a promotion, and make others happy.

To regain self-confidence, you need to know the enemy in person. Mentally imagine this girl with a straight posture, neat pigtails, perfect handwriting and dolls seated in height, before your eyes, every time it starts And give her a good mental kick. Never allow yourself statements like “stupid”, “bad”, “not capable of anything”, “fool”, “lazy”. Think about what you would say to yourself to the best friend or child? In case of failure, you should not torment yourself with accusations, but above all support.

How to become a strong and self-confident woman: the psychology of stereotypes

Gender stereotypes that still exist in our society contribute to the maintenance of gender inequality. And many of them serve a disservice to women who dream of social fulfillment.

A strong influence on the formation and maintenance of gender stereotypes is provided by the media, in particular the film industry, literature and video games, where women and men are portrayed in an exaggerated stereotype. Traditionally, men are credited with such qualities as initiative, activity, enterprise, talent for the exact sciences, they are given the right to express aggression, competitive behavior. A "real woman" should be soft, tender, fragile, delicate, emotional, family-oriented and devoid of career ambitions. If such characteristics do not correspond to the woman's sense of self, then the pressure of society becomes a real source of stress and the cause of the formation of self-doubt.

The majority is convinced of the naturalness and naturalness of gender roles accepted in society. However, in reality, there is a diversity of ideas about gender depending on the culture and era in question. Moreover, gender stereotypes do not reflect the real statistics of the wide involvement of women in professional activity in modern society at all levels. For example, the creator of the first programming language was a woman - Ada Lovelace.

The boss criticized, the girl refused? What does it mean? You will never succeed, no one can love you? When you fail, ask yourself: what of it? The answer to this question will help to reveal your complexes and false ideas about life.

Create a positive self image

Self-confidence is greatly influenced by the established image of one's personality. By identifying themselves with the image of a loser, people unconsciously begin to conform to a negative self-image, failing even in the presence of favorable opportunities. For example, doubting his attractiveness to the opposite sex, a guy begins to behave stiffly or unnaturally when communicating with women. As a result, he pushes them away from himself and receives “irrefutable evidence” that he is nothing interesting.

As soon as you expand your ideas about your personality, external events will confirm your new views of yourself. To achieve this, you can go two ways. Either pump your psyche using various methods of self-hypnosis (), or gradually get rid of the restrictions in your mind. Challenge one false belief after another by looking for or deliberately creating positive situations in your experience.

Describe at least three situations each day that indicate your success (receiving a compliment, thanking a friend, applying for a job). Give as much energy and attention to pleasant memories as to failures. And soon you will feel how the feeling of self-confidence grows and grows stronger in you.