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They call me names, what should I do? How to behave and what to do if you are called names

If you learn how to deal with bullying and insults, you will find it easier to handle such unpleasant social situations. To protect yourself from bullying and insults, assess the situation, respond appropriately, and seek help if necessary.

Steps

Assess the situation

Understand that it's not about you. People who tease and insult others are insecure themselves. Their bullying is often driven by fear, narcissism and a desire to control the situation. By bullying others, they feel stronger. Realizing that the reason lies with the offender, and not with you, will help you become more confident in the current situation.

Understand what motivates your abuser. If you make the effort to understand why a particular person insults or teases you, you will have the key to solving the problem. Sometimes people bully others to assert themselves, and sometimes they do it because they don't understand you or the situation as well as they could. Or they are simply jealous of what you have done or achieved.

Make a plan to avoid the person or situation if possible. Avoiding your bully can minimize the amount of abuse or bullying you experience. While this may not always be possible, come up with ways to reduce the amount of time you have to spend with the bully, or avoid contact with him altogether.
- If you are harassed when you get home from school, work with your parents to safe route, which will help avoid bullying or insults.
- If you are being teased or abused online, consider deleting the offender from your social networks or reduce the amount of time spent in certain applications.
Determine whether bullying is against the law. Sometimes bullying or insults are a direct violation of one of the codes or the Constitution Russian Federation. For example, if at work you experience sexual harassment from a colleague (not necessarily physical, but also verbal), this is already a violation of Article 133 of the Criminal Code, and you must report it immediately.
- If you are in school, you have the right to learn in a safe, distraction-free environment. If someone is bullying you to the point that you feel unsafe, or it is interfering with your learning (for example, by discouraging you from coming to school), you should discuss this with your parents or teacher.
Learn to be a more decisive person . Being assertive will help you deal with bullying. To be decisive, it is important to be able to say “no” to people, as well as express your needs clearly and clearly.
- Tell me what specifically worries you. For example: “You often tease me about my hair, calling me a poodle or a lamb.”
- Express your feelings about bullying. For example, you could say, “It makes me angry when you say these things because I personally think my hair looks amazing.”
- Tell me what you would like. For example: “I want you to stop making fun of my hairstyle. If you do this again, I’ll leave.”

It happens that we can be offended and rude even in the most seemingly inappropriate place, for example, in a store, where, in theory, “the customer is always right,” or in a clinic, in a bank, at work, in educational institution, and just at home.

I saw a scene where a security guard ran into a young mother pushing a stroller with a baby and started yelling that it was forbidden to bring strollers into the store, although this was illegal.

Some people have such an atmosphere at work that it is unclear how they survive there. The boss can easily be rude or call his subordinate names, but the employees do not dare to object to him for fear of being thrown out of their positions.

If you were offended, spoken rudely or called names, you should not become despondent and throw your fists at the offender.

What to do if you were called names, rude, or rude:

You can simply remain silent, not react, grinning arrogantly. This method often has a discouraging effect on offenders, because their words did not have the desired effect.
Answer briefly: “You are rude and poorly mannered.” In some cases, you will put the offender into a stupor, put him in his place, and while he stands with his eyes bulging, you can leave the scene of the collision with your head held high.
Read a lecture to the rude person on the topic of polite behavior in society, or say: “Bunny, God bless you!” with a sweet smile.
If possible, be calm when you hear cacophonous remarks addressed to you, don’t shout or get in the way with your fists, this only shows how much the rude person’s words hurt you. It’s better to answer something like this with a smile: “Where does so much interest in my person come from?” “You don’t have your own personal life, have you decided to take part in someone else’s?”
Say this: “If your self-esteem is so low that you can only humiliate others by praising yourself, then I advise you to seek help and support from a psychologist, because people like you have no real friends.”
Answer to a boorish woman: “You are as smart and kind as you are beautiful.”
Of course, you can respond in kind and be rude in response, descending to the level of a rude offender, but by shouting your tirade back, you can relieve some of the overwhelming tension. However, this is the worst option.

Here are some other responses you can use when confronting your bully:

Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you;
I appreciated the depth of your thoughts, thank you!
Thank you for your attention to my personality and for taking the time to criticize it;
For God's sake, I don't feel sorry. I love being hated;
Is that all you wanted to say?
I had a better opinion of you;
Rudeness does not suit you at all;
Do you want a polite answer or the truth?
Why are you trying to look worse than you really are?

Depending on the situation, you can put into practice all of the above methods of dealing with boors and rude people; in particularly unpleasant situations, try making a witty joke or remark.

It’s sad, but it also happens that none of the above helps, especially for teenagers. Offenders may consider ignoring and silence as cowardice and weakness, and with even greater bitterness they continue to make fun of and mock the person. In this case, there is only one way through which you can earn the respect of your peers - to fight back against the offender. This will show that you are not afraid and are not going to continue to endure hurtful ridicule, name-calling and rudeness.

Unfortunately, we are not always able to orient ourselves in time and react correctly in situations where someone insults us. Subsequently, we become upset not only because of the very fact of other people’s insults, but also because we failed to give a proper rebuff. In many cases, you can avoid these upsets.

Many people make the mistake of clearly showing the other person that their words have offended them in some way. Of course, when we are insulted, it is not easy to control ourselves and not show that we are offended and “touched to the quick.” And yet, if you fail to cope with this task, then your opponent will understand that he managed to achieve his goal and truly insult you. No matter how difficult it is for you, try to make it clear to the person that his words do not bother you at all. The best way to help you with this is humor, which often helps you react quickly in unforeseen situations.

If you stock up on a few witty phrases, then, for sure, they will subsequently be able to help you out at the right time.

Examples of such remarks:

Your words do not surprise me at all. I'd be surprised if you said something really smart.
And nature really has a great sense of humor, since it creates specimens like you!

How to respond to insults and aggression

How to behave when you are insulted

Situations may be different, so it is advisable to adjust your behavior in accordance with them.

For example, if you yourself have offended a person, and you understand that all his insults are just hurt pride and an attempt to take revenge for the insult, then it is better to remain silent. The interlocutor is likely in agony, and with additional remarks you will further aggravate the situation.
If you are being offended undeservedly or “out of the blue,” then your opponent probably wants to “blow off steam,” and it is quite possible that you simply fell into the hands of someone else. Of course, in this situation you should not be a “punching bag” - put the offender in his place!
If you are insulted by a person who is clearly in an inadequate state, then it is better not to have anything to do with him and not to get involved in a dialogue. We are talking about a person who is hysterical or under the influence of alcohol or drugs. You will not be able to prove anything to such an interlocutor, and it is even quite likely that with your answers (any!) you will provoke him to a new stream of aggression or even the use of physical force. It is better to avoid communicating with such people, even if you are superior to them in physical parameters - you should not get involved in a skirmish that is unlikely to end in anything good.

Undoubtedly, such a situation is offensive for any person, and sometimes we do not know how to react to insults. There are times when it is better not to get involved in a conflict and simply ignore unpleasant remarks - for example, when they are uttered by a drunk or completely out of control person. It’s another matter when the interlocutor approaches this consciously. So, what caustic words can you respond to the words of a rude person?

Your imagination and intelligence are so primitive that these insults do not offend me at all.
It's amazing how easy it is for you to offend someone. Fate will do the same to you, you'll see.

In general, it is worth noting that most often boors deliberately try to provoke us to some kind of reaction. We often notice that someone else’s rudeness can arise completely out of nowhere, or the reason is so insignificant that an adequate person would not pay attention to it at all. It's just that boors cannot deprive themselves of the opportunity to offend someone.

Most often, in such cases, we are advised to ignore the attacks of an ill-wisher, and such recommendations are instilled in us from childhood. And yet, such advice, as a rule, has practically no effectiveness - in practice it often turns out that a person who has escaped punishment for his sabotage becomes even more impudent. If a boor is constantly ignored, then he subsequently becomes convinced that everything is allowed to him. Therefore, it is important to remember that in no case should we ignore the insults that we are “gifted” with in our lives. work time sellers, administrators, cashiers and other random interlocutors. The most appropriate response to such behavior is to contact your superiors, whose task is to competently select personnel.

How to adequately respond to rudeness and rudeness

You may well get out of this situation gracefully if you calmly agree with the boor. This technique has a particularly disarming effect on some people. So, if someone is trying to insult your mental abilities or “take advantage” of your appearance, then half agree with these words, and then thank your opponent for taking the time to find your shortcomings. This method is very effective when spectators are present during its implementation. You will not insult the boor in return, but at the same time you will put him in an awkward position.

Many people are highly suspicious, and if you meet just such an instance on your way, then, of course, you can scare him with inevitable retribution “from above.” After the phrases below, the offender will remember the dialogue with you for a long time.

There is no desire to respond to these insults. However, the day will come when you will understand that all the misfortunes have been acquired by you, starting from this day.
It so happens that we pay for everything in this life. Remember this day to know why God is punishing you.
From now on, you'll have nothing but bad luck. I'm not scaring you, I just know about it.

How to intelligently send a person away without swearing

If you don’t want to swear in response to someone else’s unpleasant statements, but still think that you should fight back, then it’s quite possible to answer intelligently, but still put the person in his place.

They say that behind insults a person usually hides his complexes and inadequacy. Think about it.
It feels like insult is the only way you can assert yourself.

How to shut someone up with one beautiful phrase

Sometimes there is no desire to engage in a verbal altercation, and you want to shut the person up by uttering just one destructive remark. There are many such phrases, and they affect everyone differently. Here's an example:

They say that when a person is not particularly intelligent, the only thing he can do is stoop to insults.

When he insults his superiors

In this case, unfortunately, we do not always have the opportunity to respond the way we want, so the smartest thing to do would be to simply walk away from the conflict. If we're talking about not about the boss, but about a colleague, then there is also no need to escalate the situation - try to answer neutrally.

This technique can also be useful at a time when your boss is insulting you: while the boss says unpleasant things to you, mentally imagine a small capricious child in his place. In your imagination, calm this baby down, pat him on the head, feed him milk porridge. This will make it much easier for you to listen to insults, and perhaps even your mood will not worsen. In addition, the boss will probably be able to appreciate your resilience.

“Buy an elephant” method

Many people remember a joke from childhood, when an opponent was asked to “buy an elephant,” thereby infuriating him and almost driving him into rage. You can do the same. To each barb, answer the same thing in a bored tone: “So?”, “And then that?”, “Really?” and in the same spirit. Undoubtedly, by the end of this monotonous conversation, the boor will experience a real decline in moral strength.

Improvisation

In a conversation with an insulter, try to use the effect of surprise, surprise and disarm him with this. For example, you may laugh out loud in response to unpleasant words, as if you had heard the funniest joke. You can also sneeze, noting: “Sorry, I’m just allergic to people like you.” In addition, you can smile good-naturedly and say: “Surely your parents are ashamed of your upbringing.” Try improvising!

If you understand that the insults addressed to you are completely unfair, and you guess that your opponent also suspects this, then you should shame him. How can I do that? The first thing you can do is use certain phrases. If the person insulting you is conscientious enough, then such words will be able to penetrate him.

Never stoop to insults without properly understanding the situation. It doesn't look good on you at all.
I hope the day comes when you are ashamed of everything you said.
It's strange that I had a much better opinion of you.
I hope you're just trying to look worse than you really are.

There is no doubt that the person trying to insult you simply wants to somehow assert himself or stand out. At the end of his monologue, you may well ask coldly: “Well, did you manage to assert yourself at my expense?”

In general, when communicating with such a person, sincerely try to understand what his true goal is, what he wants to achieve with his words. At these moments, it is not so important what exactly your opponent tells you, but why he does it.

If you cannot find an answer in a difficult situation, then at least try not to lead the matter to mutual insults and impulsive reactions. Don't play by the rules they try to force on you.

It is also important to learn to calmly respond to any rudeness without “losing face” and your sense of dignity. Although it is difficult not to admit that cultural treatment rarely makes a strong impression on a boor.

When it comes to trolling or other provoking situations, the best thing you can do is ignore such a person.

Correct response to insults

It happens that we want to respond, but you know in advance that any of your words simply will not have an effect on the offender. Of course, in this situation it is better not to waste words and energy, but simply abruptly end the dialogue.
It often happens that the person “attacking” you actually has nothing against you personally - he just has Bad mood. In this case, it is enough to ask him the question: “Bad day?” An adequate person will not argue with this, and it is even possible that he will apologize.
It is often better not to lead to retaliatory insults. Try to avoid this situation by asking your interlocutor what he told you. Pretend you didn't hear his words. It is quite possible that the person has already regretted what he said. If the “attack” continues, then, apparently, you have a rare boor in front of you.
During some dialogues, we are simply stifled by the desire to attack our interlocutor. And yet, be that as it may, it is very important not to get to this point - you will almost certainly regret it. Try to keep your mind calm. It will be ideal if you learn to parry with witty remarks and not show that the provocations offend you in any way.
It is impossible not to mention one of the most common mistakes made by people who were forced to face insults. It's about making excuses. Often, having heard offensive words, we try to prove to our opponent that he is being unfair to us. With such tactics, you will undoubtedly find yourself in a position of humiliation.

Insulted by a stranger

If a person is drunk or clearly out of his mind, then you should still ignore his words - just try not to notice him. If we are talking about a stranger who did not like something about your behavior, then try to understand the situation, and then act “according to the circumstances.”

Insulted by a loved one

It is important to immediately understand why this happened conflict situation, and what provoked it. It is better to prevent further quarrel from spreading, and speak frankly to a loved one that he offended you and you are hurt by his words. Try not to hush up the conflict, but to talk frankly, clarifying the matter.

It happens that at moments when they try to offend us with their insults, we frantically begin to replay in our thoughts possible options answers. It becomes quite a shame if these efforts are in vain and a witty answer comes to our minds after the dialogue is over. Everyone knows the expression that “after a fight you don’t wave your fists,” so it is advisable to respond to your interlocutor’s caustic remarks in a timely manner.

So, let's look at some similar phrases that can help us in a difficult conversation:

I hate to interrupt you, but I have more important things to do. Are you done?
Should you answer politely or tell the truth?

Note that most often people who easily go to the extent of insulting their interlocutor, as a rule, do not have high intelligence, so smart answers often drive them into a stupor. What options can you use?

Examples:

I don’t know what your usual diet is, but this menu is clearly not particularly balanced, and contains harmful carcinogens - they are the ones who set out to destroy your brain cells!
Scientists have not yet fully studied the intellectual abilities of primates. Maybe you could leave your contacts, my friend, a researcher, will really need them. By the way, would you like to take part in a scientific experiment?

And yet, if possible, try not to respond to insults in the spirit of the insulter. Or at least don't become a conflict instigator! What kind of people tend to do this?

The face of a provocateur

A weak man who is actually a coward, and harsh words are his only defense.
An energy vampire who is trying to bring negative emotions interlocutor, thereby “feeding” yourself.
Boors without education, who had to grow up like “grass in a field.”
Aggressors who find it difficult to live a day without participating in some scandal.
Dysfunctional elements, such as drug addicts and alcoholics, who find it difficult to control themselves.
Just stupid people.

When you understand that an adequate and reasonable person will find a way to convey his message without swearing and insults, then it will be much easier for you to react to the antics of ordinary boors.

Various situations happen in life. It happens that a conflict situation occurred with a person and you were insulted. Surely this has happened to everyone.

Be it random insults or special ones. With colleagues at work, or in a friendly company, or with a stranger in a store. Most often they insult intentionally, for some purpose, for example, trying to offend, humiliate, or show that the offender is better than you.

Insult- this is always unpleasant, so you need to know how to react to them. Those who do not know how to respond to insults can go into serious depression. Therefore, it will be written here about how to respond to insults.

First, in order to understand how to competently respond to an insult, you need to put aside all emotions. Especially fear. Otherwise, the offender may feel that you are afraid and then he will continue to insult you more.

He himself experiences fear, but sensing yours, he will become impudent and rude more and more every time. Therefore, remember that you are strong when you are confident.

You may be deeply offended by phrases that you consider to be true. But that's not true. So just make it clear to others. Start loving yourself, from your fingertips to your hair and your soul. There are no more people like you. Remember this. You are unique. Nobody has the right to be rude to you. You are good at everything that brings you joy. You are smart. You are beautiful. Say nice words to yourself every morning in front of the mirror, admire yourself.

Think carefully about why people try to offend people who are not like them? In fact, the answer is simple - people are afraid. They are afraid to look weaker than others, thereby insulting and humiliating you. Don't give in and don't let anyone insult you.

They try to appear stronger by humiliating others, but in reality the offenders are weak individuals.

Therefore, be smarter, be calm about unpleasant phrases addressed to you. remember, that this person is weaker than you and is simply afraid of being worse than you.

Nobody can insult you. If you are directly confronted, for example, in a store, because you are choosing something for a long time, or in line for a ticket you are paying for a long time, and they are shouting at you, then do not be silent! Go up to the person who is shouting at you and ask: “Who gave you the right to talk to me like that?”, “Who am I to you for you to shout at me? You can yell at your wife or son at home!”

This way you can force the offender to use his brains. Maybe he will understand the fact that everyone has the same rights. And if your boss or colleague insults you at work, then give him the Constitution of the Russian Federation. Maybe next time your colleagues will watch their language.

You need to remember that constructive criticism and insults are two different things. Just as criticism implies help in eliminating a person’s shortcomings, and when insulting, a person humiliates someone else’s dignity, while demonstrating his own. Therefore, there is not a drop of truth in insults and therefore you should not take them to heart and delve into yourself, thereby causing sadness and bad emotions in yourself.

Sometimes offenders use non-standard language and very rude phrases in order to offend even more. It happens that they use subtle insults, manifested through outright sarcasm and ridicule. In order to correctly respond to the words of the offender, you need to understand what insults are being thrown in your direction. For example, you don’t need to respond to insults with direct obscene words; you can simply use your knowledge of neurolinguistic programming.

It happens too much emotional personalities that are not familiar to you, but landed in public place . Such people may behave inappropriately and attack with their fists. Therefore, if you sense that a person is not friendly with the language, then simply ignore him. Why would you stoop to the same level. And a fight definitely won’t lead to anything good.

It is best to calmly react with an indifferent voice or ignore it. It turns out that you don’t care what he thinks and says. As a result, he will quickly fall behind. There are situations when you can respond in the same manner as you are addressed. You are a leader, you love yourself.

For example, At work with a grin they tell you that you are so ridiculous that you wore a wrinkled shirt. You can respond in the same spirit: “Thanks for your concern, but you’ve had bags under your eyes all week. What would this be connected with? And smile sweetly.

Interesting thing, when they try to give you a negative assessment of your appearance or your actions, try thanking the person. This will clearly confuse him and he will not find anything else to say. Serious companies have weekly meetings. Usually meetings look like this: the boss gathers his subordinates and begins to scold, sometimes shout, etc.

For those who are not pleased and offended to hear the boss scream, there is an interesting thing that is easy to do.

Just imagine that you went to visit a large aquarium, and your boss is a fish who only opens his mouth. But not a single sound is heard.

This wonderful psychological thing will help those who are nervous about the negativity of their boss. After all, you cannot respond to your boss with an insult or yell at him, but no one can stop you from listening to him.

If, after your vacation, your “favorite” colleague tries to tease you about how well you have recovered, then agree with him and smile. He may continue the conversation with the question, what will you do with excess weight? Tell him you've decided to be fat and you like McDonald's food and athletes don't inspire you.

How to respond to insults:

The most important thing is to be smarter than the one who is trying to offend you.
Do not stoop to the level of the offender, do not yell at him, do not use direct insults - this will only worsen the situation.
Remember that the one who offends you is already in a losing position. You need to sincerely feel sorry for such people; most likely, life has already offended them.
Everyone has the same rights.
Answer using the same methods.
You are a strong person.
Turn off your emotions.
Love yourself.

Remember that there is no exact way to properly respond to insults. After all, it depends on the situation and who is offending you. But thanks to this article, you can understand how to react to offenders.

Each person may face an inadequate reaction from the surrounding society regarding his personality. This often manifests itself in the form of insults, which may or may not be justified. Insults, according to psychological theory, can have the most different nature. In some cases this may concern appearance, and in some have to do with human actions. In any case, no one has the right to insult anyone. But this phenomenon is still actively spreading in modern society, from which its members suffer. Psychological practice often encounters such cases. The challenge for the suffering party in this situation is to learn to work with it if you are being called names.

What to do if they call you names?

The solution to a problem always depends on the reasons that shaped the current situation. Or they influenced its formation. If you are called names at school or in the yard during adolescence, then this is one problem. And if insults affect a person already in adulthood, then the solutions to this problem will have a completely different nature. It is also worth considering insults on the Internet and insults in real life separately.

If you are abused as a teenager

Many children and adolescents often face insults and humiliation in school years from peers. Sometimes these insults are justified, since the child is not like everyone else. And sometimes they just pick on him for no reason. First of all, parents should be puzzled by this problem. You can and should also contact a child psychologist. If a child or teenager has significant differences from others, then it makes sense to make him similar to the team and eliminate the differences.

Insults at school can be about appearance or academic performance. Often those who study poorly or look bad are not liked in the team. Not all children know how to react when called names. Some psychologists advise ignoring this situation and not paying attention to the insults. But this is not a solution. Since insults and negative relationships cause negative emotions that accumulate inside and have an extremely bad effect on the psyche. In childhood and adolescence, the formation of psychological health occurs, from which adult life a person's success and self-esteem depend. In order for a person not to ruin his future life, he needs to learn how to react correctly to insults in at a young age. Therefore, it makes sense not to pay attention to people who make negative comments about you, but to start working on yourself. If the insults are unfounded or very angry, then it makes sense to change the team, that is, the school. You can also find a new team by signing up for additional classes.

Why do adults call people names?

If children call names because they do not understand what is happening and it is difficult for them to come to terms with reality, then with adults the opposite happens. Firstly, it’s humor, it’s simply in this way a person wants to cheer himself up and everyone around him, including you. If you are still not pleased to hear name-calling addressed to you, then start calling them back, but not seriously, but with a bit of humor. Using this method will allow you to become less tolerant of this kind of statements. As for the second case, name-calling and insults occur purely due to personal hostility. In this case, you do not need to be nice to the provocateur; tell him in response everything that you think about him. Subsequently, it is recommended to reduce communication with such a person to a minimum, since spending your own energy trying to please him is simply impractical.