Reply to those who call you. How to behave and what to do if you are called

Unfortunately, we do not always be navigated and correctly reacted in situations when someone offends us. Subsequently, we are upset not only because of the very fact of other insults, but also because they failed to give proper rebuff. In many cases, you can avoid these chagrins.

Many people make a mistake when they explicitly show the interlocutor, then his words in any way were treated. Of course, when we are insulting, it is not easy to keep yourself in your hands and not to show that we are offended and "leaving for living." And yet, if you do not cope with this task, the opponent will understand that he managed to achieve the goal and insult you to truly. No matter how difficult for you, try to give to understand the person that his words do not care at all. The humor will help you better in this, which often helps to respond quickly in unforeseen situations.

If you get stuck a few witty phrases, then, for sure, afterwards they will be able to help you out at the right moment.

Examples of similar replicas:

I am absolutely not surprised by your words. I would be surprised if you said something really clever.
And nature is really an excellent sense of humor, since she creates such copies like you!

How to react to insults and aggression

How to behave when you insult

Situations may be different, so it is desirable to adjust your behavior in accordance with them.

For example, if you yourself offended a person, and you understand that all his insults are only a prolonged pride and an attempt to take revenge on the pronounced offense, then it is better to sile. Probably, the interlocutor is in agony, and additional replicas you will further aggravate the situation.
If you have begun to offend you undeservedly or at all "with no one with this", then it is likely that the opponent wants to "pull a couple", and it is quite possible that you just fell under a hot hand. Of course, in this situation, you should not be a "whiteling pear" - put offenders in place!
If you are offended by a person who is clearly in an inadequate state, it is better not to have any affairs with him and not get involved in the dialogue. We are talking about a man in hysterics or under an alcoholic or narcotic influence. You will not be able to prove anything to such a companion, and it is even quite likely that with your answers (by any!) Wrong it to a new stream of aggression or even the use of physical strength. Communication with such people is better to avoid, even if you are superior to physical parameters - you should not be drawn into a crossbow, which is unlikely to end with something good.

Undoubtedly, this situation is offended for any person, and sometimes, we do not know how to respond to insults. There are cases when it is better not to get involved in the conflict and simply ignore unpleasant replicas - for example, at the moment when they pronounce a drunk or completely uncontrolled person. Another thing is when the interlocutor comes to this consciously. So, what pricky words can be answered by the words of Grubian?

Your fantasy and the mind is so primitive that these insults do not offend me at all.
It's amazing how easily you go to offend someone. Fate will come with you in the same way, you will see.

In general, it is worth noting that most often the Hama is specifically trying to provoke us to any reaction. Often, we notice that someone else's rudeness may arise at a completely empty place, or the reason is so insignificant that an adequate person would not pay attention at all. Just chams can not deprive themselves the opportunity to hurt someone.

Most often, in such cases, we advise us to ignore the attacks of the unfair, and such recommendations are inspired by us from orphanage. And yet, such a council, as a rule, practically does not have effectiveness - in practice it is often it turns out that a person who avoided the punishment for his wreation is increasing even more. If Hama is constantly ignored, then he is subsequently alleged that he is allowed. Therefore, it is important to remember that in no time we should not disregard the insults that "bestow" in their working time Sellers, administrators, cashiers and other random interlocutors. The most adequate response to such behavior is to appeal to the authorities whose task competently select staff.

How worthy of answering rudeness and rudeness

You can easily go out elegantly from this situation if you cannot agree with Ham. This technique on some people acts especially disarmingly. So, ate someone tries to insult your mental abilities or "ride" in appearance, then you will admit to these words, after which thank the opponent for being lazy to spend time to find your shortcomings. This method has very high efficiency when viewers are present during its implementation. You do not insult Ham in response, but at the same time put it in an awkward position.

Many people are distinguished by increased imperidity, and if it was exactly such an instance on your way, it is definitely you can scare it with an imminent melted "over". After the phrases below, the offender will still remember the dialogue with you.

There is no desire to respond to these insults. However, the day will come when you understand that all misfortunes are charged with you, starting from that day.
It already happened that we pay for everything in this life. Remember this day to know for what God punishes you.
From now on, solid bad luck will be waiting for you. I do not scare you, I just know about it.

How to intelligently send a person without a mat

If you do not want to repent in response to other people's unpleasant statements, but still you think that you have to repulse, then it is quite possible to answer intelligently, but at the same time put a person in place.

It is said that behind insults a person usually hides its complexes and failure. Think about it.
It seems that an insult is the only thing you can assert yourself.

How to shut a person with one beautiful phrase

Sometimes there is no desire to join the verbal worn, and I want to shut down a person, saying only one destroying replica. There are a lot of such phrases, and each they act differently. Let us give an example:

It is said that when a person does not particularly shuffle with the mind, the only thing he remains to descend to insults.

When insults the bosses

In this case, unfortunately, we do not always have the opportunity to answer the way we want it, therefore, the wisdom of everything would just get away from the conflict. If we are talking Not about the authorities, but about colleague, it is also no need to pump the situation - try answered neutrally.

It can still be useful such a technique at the moment when you are offended by the authorities: at the time when the head tells you unpleasant things, mentally imagine in his place of a small capricious child. In your imagination, calm this baby, I first feed it with a dairy porridge. So it will be much easier for you to listen to insults, and perhaps even your mood does not deteriorate. In addition, the head, for sure, it will be able to estimate your durability.

Method "Buy an Elephant"

Many people remember the joke from childhood, when the opponent was offered to "buy an elephant", thereby withdrawing him of himself and almost arguing to rabies. You can do a similar way. On each quilk, answer the same bored tone: "Well, and?", "And then then?", "Yes, really?" And in the same vein. Undoubtedly, to the completion of this monotonous conversation, Ham will experience this decline of moral forces.

Improvisation

In a conversation with insulting, try using the effect of surprise, surprise and disarm it with it. For example, you can laugh loudly in response to unpleasant words, as if heard the fun joke. You can also sneeze, noting: "Sorry, I'm simply allergic to such as you." In addition, you can smile good-naturedly, and put: "Surely, your parents are ashamed for your upbringing." Try improvise!

If you understand that insults that sound in your address are completely unfair, and guess that the opponent also suspects of it, then you should add it. How can I do that? First of all, you can use certain phrases. If a person insulting you is quite conscientious, then such words will be able to pour it.

Never go down to insults, without understanding the situation in a situation. It does not paint it at all.
I hope that the day will come when you will be ashamed for everything said.
It is strange that I was about you much better opinions.
Hope you are just trying to look worse than in reality.

There is no doubt that the person trying to insult you, simply wants to somehow assert or stand out. At the end of his monologue, you may well ask how to ask: "Well, managed to assert yourself for my account?"

In general, communicating with a similar person, sincerely try to understand what his true goal is what he wants to achieve his words. At these minutes it is not so important that it is that the opponent tells you, and why he does it.

If you can not be found in response to a difficult situation, then at least try not to bring the case to mutual insults and impulsive reactions. Do not play the rules that you try to impose.

It is also important to learn to calmly respond to any rudeness, not "losing faces" and a sense of its dignity. Although it is difficult not to recognize that cultural appeal rarely makes a strong impression on Hama.

In the case when it comes to trolling or other provoking situations, it is better that you can do is ignore such a person.

Proper reaction to insults

It happens that we want to answer, but you know in advance that any of your words simply do not raise an action on the offender. Of course, in this situation it is better not to spend words and energy, but simply sharply cutting the dialogue.
Often happens that man, "striker" on you really has nothing against you personally - just he has bad mood. In this case, it is enough to ask him the question: "Bad day?". An adequate person will not argue with it, and it is not even excluded that he apologizes.
Often it is better not to bring to the reply insults. Try to avoid this situation by recalling the interlocutor what he told you. Pretend that you did not hear his words. It is possible that a person has already had time to regret said. If the "attack" continues, then, apparently, you are rare Ham.
During some dialogues, we simply have a desire to pounce on the interlocutor. And yet, no matter how it was, it is very important not to reach it - almost certainly you will regret it. Try to keep the mind in peace. It will be perfect if you learn to parry with witty replicas, and do not give the form that the provocations of you are as hidden.
It is impossible not to mention one of the most common mistakes allowed by people who were forced to encounter insults. We are talking about excuses. Often, hearing offensive words, we are trying to prove to the opponent that he is unjust in relation to us. With such tactics, you will undoubtedly find yourself in the position of humiliated.

Insulted stranger

If a person is drunk or clearly not in himself, it still stands to ignore his words - try to simply not notice it. If we are talking about a stranger, who did not like something with your behavior, then try to understand the situation, then act "according to circumstances."

Insulted near man

It is important to immediately understand why a conflict situation occurred, and that it provoked. It is better to prevent the spread of further quarrel, and frankly to tell the close person that he offended you, and you are stuck in words. Try not to silence the conflict, but to frankly talk, clarifying the case.

It happens that at the moments when we are trying to offend our insults, we are convulsive to scroll through thoughts possible options Replies. It becomes pretty disappointment if these efforts pass in a gift and a witty answer comes to us in the head after the dialogue is completed. Everyone knows the expression that "after fighting the fists do not make up," therefore it is desirable to respond to the checker replicas of the interlocutor in a timely manner.

So, consider some similar phrases that can help us in a difficult conversation:

I do not want to interrupt you, but I'm waiting for the case more. Did you finish?
Do you answer politely or tell the truth?

Note that most often people who easily come to insult the interlocutor, as a rule, do not possess high intelligence, so the smart answers often drive them into a stupor. What options can I use?

Examples:

I do not know what your usual diet, but this menu is clearly not particularly balanced, and contains harmful carcinogens - they even took the destruction of your brain cells!
Scientists have not fully studied the intellectual abilities of primates. Maybe you would leave your contacts, they will very need my familiar researcher. By the way, there is no desire to take part in the scientific experiment?

And yet, if possible, try not to respond to insults in the spirit of the insulted. Or at least do not become a conflict instigator! What people tend to do so?

Face provocateur

A weak man who is actually a coward, and stuck words - his only defense.
Energy vampire who is trying to bring to negative emotions The interlocutor, thereby "applied" himself.
Ham without education, which had to grow like "grass in the field."
The aggressors who are difficult and to live, without participating in any scandal.
Dysfunctional elements, such as, drug addicts and alcoholics, which are difficult to control themselves.
Just stupid people.

When you understand that an adequate and reasonable person finds a way to convey your thought without mats and insults, then you will be much easier to react to conventional fun.

In Ukraine. And 36% of them do not tell the teacher or parents about it. Children experience the bulling silently, because they do not believe that adults can help them in this situation.

Do you know how to react if you know that your child is called at school? What to advise him to come from a conflict with dignity?

Tips: "Do not pay attention", or "give delivery" - not in the account. The victim of the bulling is difficult not to pay attention to what causes pain and humiliation. And they will repel not every child under power.

In the article, we wrote about foreign experiences to combat bullying schools. These tips are more suitable for students of the average and senior school.

Younger schoolchildren are more difficult to cope with psychological violence at school. Due to age, it is difficult for them to determine the motives of the aggressor and show an excerpt. Therefore, the tips, what to do if they call up at school, should be a bit in another key.

In his book with tips for children "What to do, if ..." dedicated to school bulling a separate chapter. It is simply and accessible in it, why some children want to offend others, what children become a victim of bulling, and how to respond to aggression and calls.

Who and why becomes an aggressor and mocks peers

Explain to the child that the reason for bullying is not at all in it, but in the nature of those who offend him.

In any team there are people who enjoy when they make others suffer. They can do this for various reasons.

Perhaps because they themselves transferred a lot of offenses, and now they pour their pain on others. Perhaps, they are in the depths of the soul are not confident in themselves, and that others do not see their weaknesses, try to suppress someone and gain superiority.

Such people do not show aggression if the surrounding give them a reversal. If for their sacrifice there is someone to interfere. But, if there is no friendly relationship, and in the class everyone for himself, the aggressor very quickly chooses a victim.

That is, the first secret of fighting bullying schools is to find friends who will be there when the offender will decide to exercise in wit. Together or threesome easier to disgrace him than alone.

Who most often call school

If the sacrifice of school bullying to ask why it was his school, he would most likely look for the cause of himself.

Non-standard growth or weight, hair color, glasses, "clinging" surname - the aggressor can make anything as the basis for bulling. And the victim begins to think that the reason is indeed in it.

Such an image of thoughts only enshrines the position of the victim, so it is important to explain to the child that it is not.

Ask a child: does he really believe that whose appearance, or physical qualities give a reason to humiliate and insult this person?

Explain that the aggressor clings to the one who emotionally reacts to his mockery. It is this reaction that he is achieved by his calls. No reaction - no mockery.

Lyudmila Petranovskaya writes:

"It looks like one evil game, in which children sometimes love to play. Out of someone's hat or another thing - and throw each other in a circle. And the poor fellow rushes between them, trying to take away, asks, angry, but always does not have time. The cap is thrown on, and everyone is very funny. In addition, whose hat.

What can you advise? Go to the basketball section and learn how to catch the caps on the fly? So-so advice. Because it is not good or bad, he catches. The fact is that he catches. That is, agrees to play a bad game.

After all, they actually play not in the header. Play - in it. All the pleasure of the game is in his tears, angry, helpless jumps. And the more the victim tries to take away the cap, the greater the pleasure of offenders.

Therefore, the most reasonable thing in such a situation is not to play. Expand and leave. Even if the thing is very necessary. By the way, when the sacrifice leaves, offenders often immediately lose interest and throw a thing, otherwise they give right in their hands - after all, they don't really need it.

If the thing was valuable and you did not return it, say about it to parents - this money was spent on the purchase, and they have the right to demand them to return. "

Tell your child proper installation of behavior

Do not lose your head when you are called, indeed, difficult. Tell me a child way, it's easier to keep yourself in your hands, and do not give off the reaction to which he achieves.

The main thing: keep in mind the idea that all these offensive words do not belong to the identity of the child. But they say that the offender has many problems in life.

If, in response to the offensive words, the child will argue, respond to the same challenges, cry, threaten or rushing into a fight - all this will not help.

What will help - keep in mind the thought that from someone's evil words the child himself does not get worse, does not turn into one who is teased. Nothing happens from words at all.

To make it easier to keep exposure, you can try to present a situation like a movie. Present that the child looks from the side, admires the holding of the main character (herself), and is surprised by the stupidity and stupid behavior of his offender.

Representing the situation from the part, the child transfers focus of attention (this does not happen to me), and may not take attacks to heart.

Lyudmila Petranovskaya writes:

Zoo ("boring how ...")
Smile ("I'm so glad you're fun!")
Translate attention to offenders ("Yes, I know what you like to say so")
Give permission ("Call for health")
Turn over everything ("Can you still?")

At first, offenders may disperse. Let's try to shout pogrom and plentifully. But if you continue to keep calm, they will quickly get bored. Because they will be like Moseks who nailed on a calm-calm elephant.

Of real offenders, those who are climbing, little. One or two on the whole class. The rest of the guys join them without thinking.
It just first seems to them that it is very fun - to show on someone with your finger, repeating offensive words and laugh.

While you are a victim, they think that this is exactly what you need to contact you. But if you behave correctly, they will feel embarrassed. Perhaps they will even become ashamed. And someone from them can very much, comes true and wants to be friends with you. "

/ 25.07.2018

What to do if a girl calls you. What to do if you are called

Many parents The situation is familiar when the child comes from school all in tears and complains that he is now called him in school, but nicknamed. Children's nicknames are not always offensive, they can mean something or nothing to mean. Therefore, you should not immediately be upset and take active actions to immediately punish the offender.

Nickname can be educated From the name, surname, from the appearance and behavior of the child. So the boy Sergey always becomes gray in the classroom, the girl Solovyov - Solovy. Such nicknames may not be offended for a child, because so usually they are called at school, it is not one in this case. The child is experiencing when his nickname is offensive and only one thing is so called classmates. For example, if the boys named Mikhail is called a teddy bear, but only one Mishak or Ishak.

Rich soil for nickname Gives a physique, growth, facial expressions, clothing and health. If the child is disturbed, then you should not be surprised that at school he got a nickname "fat man." Baby wearing glasses will definitely be called "Cold". These nicknames, of course, is insulting for a child, but in the fact that they are called, the parents themselves are to blame in these cases.

Before thinking about how force Offers respect your child and do not call him, think about the fact that the offensive nickname never arises from scratch. If a child is overweight, you need to take action to help him lose weight. It is impossible to give a child names without thinking about how his peers may call. It is better to call a child with a complex name than a short but causing mockery. For example, instead of giving a child the name Edik, name it Edward and try to contact him yourself.

Everyone knows that children teased Edica Pediomik. Such a nickname can spoil the child all his life. If the surname of the child has to do that he wants to laugh at him, then it is worth thinking about changing the surname. The names and surnames of the child should not be the cause of the development of the child of the Complexation, because parents choose their children.

Children are very painful react For offensive nicknames and looking for support from parents. Consider a child: not to respond to the nickname, correctly not in all cases. So you can enter a child who is confident, does not suffer from low self-esteem and has friends at school. If the child is not very active and has no iron character, then the child struggles with offenders to one is very difficult. In this case, it is useless to answer indifference to the nickname, the further it will ignore, the more tease it. To avoid this, start working on an increase in self-esteem in a child. Quickly praise him, help him take and love himself.

Let him know what if called " occarc"This is not a reason for the resentment, because many famous people wear glasses. For example, Schikharikom called at school and Bell Gates, but he became the most successful person in the world. Give examples from the life of other celebrities and explain what to avoid nicknames in Childhood is able to units, they just need to calmly respond to them. The task of the parents is to convince the child that he is beautiful and can like even in that appearance, what he has it. For example, if he has red hair to convince that they are gold, but If a long nose, tell him that he has a Roman face profile.

Still in kindergarten teach the child to give reford Abstract, leaving the last word and thereby protect himself from the nickname. Children of preschool age should know the rhymed phrases that need to shout in response to the offender. For example, "who calls, he himself is called", "long people do not happen, only the language is", "call me - translate me", "and I did not know that you are so called, glad to meet you" etc. It's one thing when the child is barely audible relying about himself "one himself", the other - when confidently answers: "there was a hungry crocodile, my word swallowed."

Complexation of children whom constantly They call up at school, it can cause the fact that it closes in himself, begins to learn badly and in the depths of the soul brings parents for not taking his problems seriously. Therefore, it is not necessary to leave a complaint about the fact that he is called at school should not. First adjust the child positively.

Ask him about how to tease others childrenTell him how you themselves teased at school, and how you managed to defeat the insult to the peers. In many schools, the leader in the classroom is the one who has a hooliganic character and is poorly learning. He is trying to imitate other children, and one who does not want to become the same bad as the others begin to call, to make him obey the leader. In such cases, the situation often comes to a fight, where the child can even get injury. The inaction of the parents can adversely affect not only the mental, but also on the physical development of the child.

Intervene in the situation with regard to circumstances. First come to school, talk to the teacher and with the school principal. If the cool leader cannot cope with the problem independently, then talk to your child with a consequence or go to his parents. If the child learns well and differs from his peers with exemplary behavior, it is necessary to think about the transfer of it to another school, where the level of knowledge of the rest of the children is also high.

Once on Wednesday, where all children They will be the same as he will stop calling him and he will grow in a relaxed atmosphere. If the child itself behaves ridiculous and what is teased, is related to the problems of his character, then the translation into another school is also not a way out. In a new school, he will also be called calling new classmates. In this case, it is necessary to take advantage of the child himself and help him cope with problems in communicating with other children.

Any child can tease and call in kindergarten or school. The reasons for such an aggressive behavior of classmates are the most different: they do not like the growth, some habits, character traits, disadvantages of appearance, and so on.

But in any case, the calling is deeply injured by the children's psyche, leads to uncertainty in their own forces, closets and even disgusting to the children's team. Children are very vulnerable - it is difficult for them to be "soles", to have their own opinion, be able to defend their interests in any situation and under any circumstances. Consider in more detail what to do parents and how to behave a child, if for some reason it began to call and tease at school, and how to help him overcome the stressful situation.

Parents should provide all sorts of support in such an unpleasant situation so that it does not affect the progress and mental state of the Son or daughter.

What can not do

Psychologists advise not to intervene openly in school conflicts. After all, such intervention will only increase the negative. Classmates affected by ridicule Call for a person who is not able to stand up for itself and completely dependent on the will of the parents. His authority will fall even more!

Such a situation is fraught with complete insulation in the circle of peers. And the offended schoolboy will make an incorrect conclusion and will light up both in himself and parents - they did not help when he turned to help, and only worsened his position.

How to help

Most parents advises to openly ask the offenders, what's the matter. It usually ends with a fight or noisy clarification of the class relationship. Unfortunately, he does not always defeat the one who is right. But the very fact of participation in a fight sometimes puts the child in a winning position. It is beginning to look at him from another angle, as a person who has not been afraid to protect himself.

It is not worth abuse of such a tactics! Because such a resolution of the conflict teaches children that everything in life can be achieved by shouts and fists. Good member of society from such an aggressive baby will not grow.

Houses with an offended little man must talk in a friendly atmosphere and explain that it is not the case itself, but in the disadvantages of other children. Unhappy should be exactly what they did wrong and stupid. And most an effective way show that you are happy and pleased everyone, it is not to pay attention to offenders and ignore their behavior in every way.

This method works more efficiently! But it is quite difficult to convince himself. Similar stories from the life of parents, famous people or stars will be appropriate here.

The main thing is that an offended schoolboy can demonstrate that he is confident personality independently, without the help of adults (parents or teachers):

do not respond to insults;
laugh at their shortcomings with everyone;
to pretend that I did not hear some words, and they did not bring him any discomfort.

Translation into another school

Question about translation to another educational institution Decides, taking into account the specific situation and the desire of the child himself. But in any case, the conflict should be completed here and now - the child is simply obliged to get out of the unpleasant situation.

If he does not reset itself, the position of the victim will be formed and then another trouble is already in new school Not avoid.

The humiliation and "escape from the battlefield" never goes to use! If you do not try to stand up for yourself, the uncertainty will again lead to another insults and the desire to hide from them behind the teacher's back, mom or dad.

Before the son or daughter goes to another school, it is necessary to analyze the situation once again and find out its causes. This will allow you to "bypass sharp corners" in the future. Often helps the change of behavior and not repetition of the previous mistakes.

Of course, people do not change in a few days. This is a difficult daily work on yourself, over relations with the surrounding people. But such tactics always leads to the desired result. All "Tikhoni" and "Plaks" should be known about this.

Parents are obliged to explain to their children that everything in life depends only on them themselves, including relations with classmates. People are not robots, it is difficult to change it. Even an adult with difficulty refuses old habits. But the sequence and desire to smooth the conflict are necessarily crowned with success.

Therefore, the main "weapon" of confident and a benevolent person is:

and self-criticism;
the ability to understand the shortcomings and weaknesses of other people;
in any situation;
attentive attitude to own behavior and error analysis.

And the care of itself, uncertainty, fear and plasticity has not yet helped become a sociable and respected person.

In any team, both in childhood, and in adult, constituent entities will always be deleted, who are experiencing a certain pleasure to laugh at another person, bringing it to tears, humiliating and twisting it in dirt.

The question "What to do if you are called" interests most often than schoolchildren. It is in school that children differ in the greatest sensitivity and susceptibility. And the words of peers may not just hurt, but to apply incorrigible damage to the psyche junior schoolchild or teenager. And in rare cases and provoke inadequate behavior and suicide travelers.

The most common way to solve this problem is an attempt to protect yourself by force. Alas, in rare situations such behavior is faithful. After all, the offender may be physically stronger or he may not be alone. In this case, the problem will only exacerbate.

Not the best solution to the problem is for a child the transition to another school, and for an adult to another team.

A more correct step will seek advice to an experienced psychologist who can figure out the problem in detail and teach what to do when you are called. If the child is afraid of himself to go to a specialist or simply shy, then it can make parents, and then transfer their information received more accessible to him. The personal meeting of the so-called victim with a specialist will help to understand the problem that has arisen even faster.

First of all, psychologists advise to figure out why a person is teased. Most often, the victim does not understand the real reason. For example, if a child is called by a swarker, it does not happen because it is wearing glasses. This reason lies much deeper. It is in no way connected with the appearance of a person or with his mental abilities. After all, the world is full of ugly, unsuccessful, stupid peoplethat did not become the center of ridicule. Psychologists argue that the true reason lies in the man itself, in the fact that he constantly reacts to insulting comments, upset and upset, crying, trying to threaten his offenders, scare them, ridiculously in response. All attempts to stop bullying produce the opposite effect, namely, it is discharged by the participants of this tragedy even more, delivering them a special pleasure. The more the person expresses resistance and shows his experiences and anger, the happiers feel his offenders. For them, the nickname itself is not important, which they came up with and constantly use, the result is important for them.

The offender is always able to allocate a person from a crowd, who will allow himself to offend and how voluntarily becomes a victim. He tries to choose a person who will definitely wore, flies, will run away, will begin to complain to parents, teachers, friends, colleagues .... In this way, he tries to declare himself with the most brave and right. Any victim's response for him is a kind of victory in the playing game.

Thus, it turns out, the best thing to do is not to be teased - it is to change the personal attitude to the situation that has ceased to encourage your offenders to put you on the universal laugh. However, it is very difficult to do it. Otherwise, there were practically no conflict situations between people.

Specialists offer one simple, but very effective way to help stop any attacks in their direction. His essence lies in changing his attitude to insults coming from offenders. You need to learn indifferent to perceive any comments and ignore any mockery phrases. Do not complain about these people, for example, teachers or colleagues. You should not attempt to make them silence or apologize. The reaction must be completely absent. It is necessary to remain indifferent without looking at anything. Wrong will try to answer the same or start an argument, trying to justify.

Of course, you do not need to fall in extremes and pretend to be deaf and blind. The main phrases in communication with ill-wishers should be the expression "if you want to call me - please" and "if you like to laugh at me, you can devote it all day." You can also repeat such phrases as "I have nothing to do with this. It is necessary for them, and not this is not at all interesting. "

It is necessary to make that offenders felt that their words no longer cause pain. Psychologists call such a trick to "let or allow you to laugh at yourself." The winblence of such behavior is hidden in what is only worth showing a person that all his attempts do not have the desired effect for him, as he starts to lose all interest in the continuation of ridicule. The correct behavior should be as follows: it is necessary to be so calm to smile in response to an insult to smile, as if implying: "I am so happy that you managed to have fun", or zea, hinting that you became bored in this company.

The main condition for success is that it is forever to remember that the real purpose of iszing is not in an attempt to tell others the truth, and make a person get out of himself. Thus, not just deciding what to do when everyone is called you, but also by taking this idea inside ourselves, you can win over the abusers in a matter of days.

Reliable comrades in such a battle can be a good sense of humor. It is important to understand that the reason for the usual healthy laughter is most often the usual mortals who accidentally treated to get into the ridiculous situation. In any comedy, the characters always tear each other, without falling into the rage. The awareness of the fact that laughter is a natural way to communicate, it will help to cope with a different kind of ridicule. After all, a person who has a good sense of humor, is able to turn any evil words abandoned in his address, in a joke.

Unfortunately, not everyone boasts a good sense of humor. However, and here should not be desirable. This quality can develop anyone. Specific results will help to achieve the usual view of the comedy genre. Watching them only have to be very careful, trying to analyze the actions and the replicas of all heroes.

Often, to be able to take advantage of all recommendations on the topic "If you are teased or calling, how to answer," you need to overcome your fear first. After all, if a person is afraid of a number of people around him, they will definitely feel it at a certain point will be able to use it for their own purposes. They will like to feel stronger, smart, brave. As a result, people will give less than respecting a person who is constantly experiencing awkwardness and fear when communicating with them. Friends disappear, and instead of them a loss label will appear. That is why it is important to try to eradicate a feeling of fear of society or its specific representatives. You need to configure yourself in such a way that there is no other thought in the head, except for the realization of your own significance.

Working on yourself, it is worth remembering one golden rule, the essence of which is not to take close to the heart what other people think about you. It is necessary to inspire yourself as follows: "People can think about me anything, and it is quite natural. I do not mind if they consider me ugly, stupid, thick or boring. This is my life, and I plan to live it according to my beliefs and desires. " Such an installation will help less worry about the judgments of other people, making a person stronger in their own eyes.

So that the problem with mockery does not happen, as well as to achieve final success, once and forever stopping such behavior in his address, you need to learn three caution. They will not allow trap and protect themselves in the future.

The first warning lies in the fact that the reaction of offenders to the changed behavior of their victim will strengthen the attacks as much as possible by making them still unbearable. You should not retreat, you need to gain patience, squeeze all the will in the fist and wait. They will pass at least three days until the offensives understand that they gradually begin to take positions.

The essence of the second warning is to perform the described instructions constantly - 24 hours a day, without interrupting for a second. Seeing in the eyes of his victim at least a second oscillation, offenders will understand that you need to try even stronger, and they will again be winners. In this case, the injury will become even more fierce.

Finally, it is important to understand, compliance with the proposed advice on how to behave when you call you, will not be able to make sure that the person stop teasing completely. Improvements will be significant. But it is worth understanding for yourself that they mock all people in one situation or another. Let it be very rare, but it can occur with each. Take, for example, celebrities. Almost every act is subjected to condemnation. If they were offended by every rude word, abandoned in their address, our scene would have long been empty, because it would be no one for it.

In conclusion, it is worth saying that people are not able to make them not condemn and not tease. Than successful man, the more glances he cares about and more crusons causes.

Many do not know what is not easy to cope with the offense, due to the fact that someone inadequately behaves, says rude words or mocks physical disabilities or mistakes. This problem, unfortunately, is not uncommon even in an adult team, not to mention the fact that children are literally faced at every step. The calling friend is enjoyed that someone is humoried and wipes tears, and if you are the roles of offended, our advice will help you figure out how to behave in such situations and avoid re-humiliation.

Incorrect reaction to insults

As a rule, it is harder to adequately respond to the offensive words to children. Schoolchildren are characterized by special sensitivity. However, many adults, being in a similar situation, react as follows:

protect themselves with the help of power (this refers more to representatives of the male half of humanity);
insult in response;
close in themselves and sharply react to the problem, which often becomes the cause of suicide;
making maximum effort to change the team.

Even the change of the team that for adults is often much more complicated than for a child, which is only translating to another school, often does not give the expected results. Therefore, to solve the problem, it is better to ask for help to a psychologist who will give recommendations and advises how to behave.

An experienced psychologist will be much faster to understand the problem in detail, and the first thing that he will do is to establish a real reason why a person calling another allows himself such behavior. According to psychologists, often the real reason for what is called, lies deep inside you. This is only at first glance it seems that making you hurts you external species or mental abilities. In fact, the problem of the one who accepted the role of the victim is that a person:

reacts to ridicule and criticism;
crying;
grieved;
threatens and offends in response.

Any attempt to stop mockery leads to the fact that making you painfully experiences even greater pleasure, watching your reaction. After all, for the offender, it is not so much the process as the result achieved, and to recognize the victim even in a huge crowd is quite simple.

What to do to not tease you?

The best thing a person can make is not teased - not to respond to an insult and change their attitude to the current situation. Do not give the reason to the offenders so that they put you on the laugh. By changing your attitude to insults, you can stop any attacks in your direction.

Learn to ignore any comments and ridicule, stop complaining about overalls to colleagues or friends. Of course, it is very unpleasant when Tolstoy is called, but maybe it is worthwhile and reset a couple of kilograms? And if it is easier for you to justify or demand apologies from offenders, you will have to be patient and wait when your offensive will transfer their mockery to another object. Given the fact that this time may never come, try to convince them that their words are not able to cause anger or offense with you, and any interest in the continuation of mock will disappear through a period of time. Stay calm, and a person who will not be able to bring you out of itself, trying to do it every way, for several days will lose all interest to your person.

The child is called and why it happens. Ways to determine the occurrence of ridicule towards your chad. Help parents with children who were organized by betraying.

The content of the article:

They call a child - this is a problem that concerns not only offended children, but also their parents. Such attacks can be both from very small provocateurs and students of the middle (senior) school. Some insults in the children's team take such a scale, which is then turning into the groove and trust. Do not calmly respond to such things, because in most cases such bullying pushing the child to try suicide.

Why call and tease a child

Before you begin to solve the problem, it is necessary to understand the origins of the situation. In most cases, the child is teased for the following reasons:

Social status difference. In some children's teams, they mock the sores whose parents can not allow their son or daughter to buy expensive things. IN this case It all depends on the nature of the child, because often people from poor families are leaders in kindergarten or school. Rather aggressive behavior they compensate for inconsistency in the financial plan of their parents.
Physical flaw. He can be expressed as in limited features Children and in some defects in the child in the form of excess weight. It is for this reason that one year old begin to invent all sorts of offensive nicknames, which are then attached to the victims of children's cruelty.
Intellectual Development Problems. Not always parents are ready to give their favorite child to the CRAP class (delay mental Development) or in a specialized institution. At the same time, they risk in the fact that in the garden and secondary school Their child will begin to call and give unlicacy characteristics.
Independent opinion. Not every children's team will take that rebellor, whose opinion is radically different from conventional concepts. White raven usually dislike and try to destroy individuality in them in every way by calling.
Funny name or surname. Parents should thoroughly think about how to call their baby. Quite often, offensive nicknames appear after the Association of the child's initials with offensive comparisons.
Problem family. Dad or mom may abuse alcohol, engage in active search for another "satellite" of life. All this affects their reputation, which instantly becomes known literally to everyone. Some parents allow themselves to discuss the family classmates of their children, which then leads to the organization by hiding a child with a challenging destiny.
Incorrect behavior of the victim. In some cases, children themselves are to blame for what they are called. Being in their nature aggressors, they themselves configure the team against themselves.
Incorrect teacher. Sometimes the teacher or teacher himself may be of negligence (even intentionally) to give a nickname to any of his wards. Such behavior of adults who enjoy authority, gladly picked up by local small hooligans.

It is necessary to first figure out for the aggression of other children in relation to your child. It is in it that it is worth looking for ways to resolve the conflict, which is able to create a complex of inferiority from the victim of offenders for life.

The main signs that the child is called

It is not always possible to understand that your favorite sibling has problems or with individual children, or with a team in general. Psychologists advise parents to alert the factor if their offspring began to behave rather strange.

There are five stages of development of the voiced conflict:

Unwillingness to attend baby institution. Such behavior may arise from a child who got into a new team. This is a natural process, because in this period there is an adaptation of a baby or a teenager to the medium that he has not identified before. In this case, it is mandatory to deal with the reasons for the reluctance to communicate with society.
Simulation of various diseases. In the summer and during the holidays, a number of entertainment activities are offered for children of any age. If the child is called upon individual individuals, he will come up with the ailment of any kind in order to avoid contact with offenders.
Aggression on any criticism. One of the reasons for such an ejection of negativity on loved ones can serve after the children behind the walls native home. In this case, the child will closes in itself, and then instantly boils if the parents make a remark to him.
Lack of friends. If the son or daughter in its nature is shy and closed individuals, they can strive for loneliness. In the other case, the situation should be worn by the fact that his favorite child will avoid their peers.
Bruises and abrasions. In this case, it is worth alarming, because the conflict in the children's team reached its climax. Really believe your own offspring only once that he stumbled and hurt himself. If the case has acquired a systematic nature, then the climbing of a small victim passed into physical violence towards it.

Attention! It is important not to miss the moment when the situation is completely out of control. With the question of what to do, if the child is called, you just need to turn into an active member of the expanded actions from an outsider.

What to do parents if the child is called

It is possible to help your children to get rid of mockery of small provocateurs in the event that take into account the age of your son or daughter. It is one thing to eliminate the conflict among babies, and completely different trying to understand the disagreements between older children.

Solving a problem with humiliation of a child in kindergarten

The voiced clashes between the warring parties during this period of maturation of the individual is complicated by the fact that they are carried out away from their parents almost all day. The child is called in the kindergarten, what to do is one of the main issues with which the older family generation appeals to the specialists. Psychologists soothe at the same time Pap and Mom, explaining them that parents can affect adverse events as follows:

Conversation with the educator. It should not be ashamed to turn to the teacher. First, he will understand that the fate of his little ward is not indifferent to parents. Secondly, during such trusting conversations, Dad and Mom will be aware of all the problems that occur with their child.
Gaming approach to solving the problem. At this age, children are most revealed during such a joint pastime with their parents. Relaxing and entering the excitement from any game, they are able to tell dads and mothers about the problems they exist in their garden. You can offer them to voice your favorite toy with your name, and the subject that scares them or annoys, designate as your real offender.
Magic words game. Even kids need to start learning to realize their own dignity. In the same game form it follows them to show an example of how best to answer the child who calls. In this period good words In response to the mockery, it is quite often a blockade between the scandal's instigator and a potential victim.
Maximum moral support. The inner world of a small child is so vulnerable that in many cases it can be destroyed to the ground without the wise council and the approval of the parents. At the very first signals that the child is called in kindergarten, it is necessary to show him how the road is his own family.
Permission to take interesting things. Many parents are forbidden to take with them kindergarten Dear toys. In part, they are right in their decision, because such presents are mined hard work. However, from time to time, you should trust your karapuza attribute to your peers for consideration any popular children's magazines, coloring, dolls or designers.
Talk about the inadmissibility of violence. Some dads and moms are confident that to inspire the foundations of universal morality to children preschool age Just meaningless. Psychologists argue that such a misconception may be expensive in the future to the hospiters. At best, they give their offspring recommendations like "give him passing" or "the insult is even more concerned." You should always be able to stand up for yourself, but solely with the help of the cams to straighten with those who call, is an unforgivable behavior.
Translation nickname in a joke. The sense of humor as a protective shield must be developed from the most early years. No one will touch a person who knows how to laugh at himself. Such a recommendation is quite difficult to implement, but if you wish to help your child, you need to apply all your pedagogical wisdom. On Leshka (Antoshka) -cake, you can give the baby to answer that he is chips, and most people love them.
Thematic animated films. Serious kinets kids will not understand, but entertaining animations to comprehend completely bye. In this case, psychologists recommend organizing a joint view of the cartoon "Scarecrow-meadow", where the cheerful kitten became a victim of ridicule and calling.

At this age, resolve the voiced conflict is quite simple. However, when it is ignored by adults, they will have to face the question of what to do if the child is called at school. Gaming methods in this case can not do, so it is not necessary to treat their children so negligently.

Methods to combat the humiliation of the child at school

In the process of growing up its offspring, it is necessary to carefully follow his behavior. In order to avoid the fact that the peers will begin to mock him, it is recommended to behave as follows to wise dads and mothers:

Permanent contact S. class teacher . In this case, we are talking not only about the control of your own child, but also the opportunity to monitor its surroundings. It is a teacher who is responsible for the class, always aware of all the cases that work in the children's team.
Communication with a school psychologist and social worker. After a conversation with the class teacher, you must chat with voiced specialists. If there is a real problem, they distribute their ward and give recommendations to the teacher to establish a microclimate in the children's team.
Formation of feeling self-confidence. A child who originally feels outlawing, will never be a full member of the children's team. It is the parents who will be able to return confidence in their forces to his beloved Chad through a reasonable promotion of his desires.
Coordination of all actions with the child. When solving the voiced problem, psychologists recommend unequivocally to devote the victim to their plans. In case of non-compliance this Council You can not only aggravate conflict situation, but also to lose your child's trust forever.
Talk about the position of the leader. If we are talking about the fact that the sibling itself caused a negative reaction of the children's team, then it is necessary to act extremely delicately. It should be explained to the child who is not all given in this life just like that. The main thing about to say to its offspring, which wins ultimately the one who could silence in time.
Child learning to the same type of answers. Provocators are quite often able to stop with the help of template phrases. At first, offenders will parry in response to knuckle on the part of the selected sacrifice. However, over time, they get tired of their provocations to hear phrases like "you know more", "I will think about it tomorrow" or "Caught okay?".
Child development. The ability to laugh at himself is the first step to solve the problem when calling children. Parents themselves must master the basics of releasing sharp without insulting the opponent. The child needs to be learned to ironize in response to frank insults. Teenage girls in the body are suitable phrases like "man - not a dog, no bone rushes." When rushing over the surname or by the name in children with obvious achievements, it should be reminded that how you call the yacht, so she will float.
Attraction for fashionable lesson. Very often, classmates attract the children who are creative personalities. In this case, even non-standard teenagers in the team are becoming popular specialists. An example of such a transformation can be the film "Raffle", where at one time the young Dmitry Kharatyan starred, who became a member of the musical group in this formulation.
Attracting sports. First, in the future there will be few wishing to call a classmate who visits the same boxing or karate. Secondly, the child itself after such training will feel more confident not only physically, but also morally.
Talk about personal hygiene. Sometimes the parents themselves are to blame for the fact that they are mocking at school. From the small years it is necessary to inspire him that not only the clothes meet. Dad and mom can buy superdudged things to their children, but he will look noisy.
Sounding the right examples. If the child has complexes, the peers are sweeping, you should tell him about the story famous people. Famous Changs - Bill Gates, Johnny Depp and Justin Timberlake. Great are considered shorteys in the form of Danny de Vito and Peter Dinklaja. A similar list can be continued infinitely, but the main thing at the same time convey the essence that the famous personalities also successfully overcame their complexes.
The use of tricks. Even if, with such a situation, the parents had no problems in the past problems in mockery over them, it is necessary to turn into professional actors for some time. Psychologists recommend telling their siblings a story about how once their older generation successfully avoided calls to their address.
Help in choosing friends. In this case, the awareness of folk wisdom is very suitable, which in most cases the worm apple sharpens. Sometimes the imaginary pleasures are then provoked by the organization of harassment over the special special. They must be calculated and then overlap access to your child.
Organization of child communication outside school. Pretty effective way It is an invitation of classmates to a house for joint leisure. You can organize watching movies that are interested in the children of this age. In this case, any leisure will benefit, because in advance conflicting parties unambiguously think.

How to behave teachers if you call a child

In many cases, it is worthwhile who sow intelligent, kind and eternal, it is worth thinking about the behavior of their wards. At the same time, teachers are recommended to adhere to the following rules to stop injury to the chosen victim team:

Joint work with administration. The people were not whatever said that one head was good, and two better. Exceptionally tandem with the leadership will help stop injury to a particular child. It is impossible to grind a similar problem in the children's team, because it can end up very poorly.
Clear distinction between the victim and the pursuer. A coarse pedagogical error will be the so-called "equalization" in the conflict of children. If the child is called and at the same time he was read by the educator (teacher) on awarded with a provocateur, then he can long years Lose confidence in people.
Thematic cool hours . In order to prevent conflicts in the children's team, it is necessary to explain the wards of the norms on which civilized society should live. In this case, the topic "Language - my enemy" will be suitable, "you can hit the word" and "Example the situation."
Competent distribution of responsibilities. Quite often, a joint business helps to reconcile the offender and his sacrifice. It is worth assessing the possibilities of a child whom they call, and suggest him to do what he can show himself with a favorable side. Raising in the eyes of the peers and thus won the authority, the victim can become a leader in the children's team.
Organization of CTD (collective creative business). Turns, trips to historical places, the KVN organization help to rally children. The same CHAKARIK will explain the peers incomprehensible things, and Lopouchi will laugh at the audience to tears with their performance on any meaning for the children's team.
"Parent School". Teachers systematically need to train dad and mothers correct behavior with their children. To do this, it is necessary to arrange general meetings, lectures, disputes and open days.

Common mistakes if a child is teased

Each dad and mom tries to protect their children to the maximum. In this case, such a zeal often brings a completely reverse result. In order not to exacerbate the fact that the child was announced by betraying, parents should avoid the following mistakes in their zeal to restore fairness on their own:

Personal disappearance. It should be immediately remembered that it is talking about styling-provocateurs, but still about children. An adult, who disassembled with the juvenile gabble, does not deserve respect. In addition, such actions are quite often deplorable precisely for parents who decided to make self-affiliation.
Suggestion of false concepts. Doris Brett, the Australian psychologist, famous to the whole world, authoritatively claims that in no case cannot teach the child to respond with a contradiction with the help of physical strength. Exclusively B. extreme situations You can stand up for yourself if without violence no longer do.
Sluban blackmail of offender parents. Some dads and moms, dried the sleeves, bravely rush to protect their child in the most unreasonable way. First of all, they are looking for meetings with parents of a child who calls for, and declare him Vendett. Psychologists, such behavior is considered wrong, because the elder will join the warring younger generation.
Moral "finishing" victim of persecution. Especially this antipedagogic process concerns dads whose children are called by peers. They are rapidly indignant about this and call their child with a saline and indelusive, which is not able to give a decent contradictor.
Complaint against pedcleckiv. In some parents, in the result, it is still a challenge to the problem. Their child is called how to react, what to do - they do not know. Consequently, the teachers were not available and it is necessary to find on them a guide in higher instances. Parents are primarily responsible for children, and the school is not a storage safe where they will hand over their favorite chad.
Translation to another garden (school). Such a warning can be regarded differently. In some cases, the child-welderkind, whom children take place, should be translated into college or lyceum. In the new atmosphere, he will not look like a white crane and will quickly find his friends. However, quite often, the amount does not change from the permutation.

Important! Parents must be as tactical as possible in the fact when their child is called other children. Breaking easier than to build, so you should learn how to restrain yourself even in such a mounted setting.

What if you call a child - watch video:

The child is called how to react - a question that requires immediate adult intervention. Otherwise, the situation can achieve such scales as in the film "Scarecrow", where young Christina Orbakayte played the main role. Herbal by the children's team of the chosen victim is not a harmless joke. In particularly severe cases, due to the inaction of adults, their child can hardly suffer both morally and physically.

This is one of the first wishes arising after insulting. But the response is appropriate, only if he:

witty;
occurs in a circle of relatives or friends;
rather, discharges the situation than the conflict exacerbates.

In all other cases, even if you consider yourself a sharp, Oscar Wilde, respond to an insult to an insult - is not the best way out. So you go to the level of Hama-opponent and let's understand that his words trembled you, that is, there may be some truth in them.

2. Jold

The difference between witty insult and the joking answer is that in the second case you are ridicuing the situation itself. The advantages of this strategy are obvious: an insult loses its toxicity, voltage, and the audience (if there is) takes your side.

In this case, you can also take a pseudo-sensitive position. So you will somete the opponent and disguise sarcasm.

Example 1: Colleague says you have prepared an ugly presentation.

Answer: "Perhaps you're right. The next time I will not ask for help from your five-year-old son. "

Example 2: An unfamiliar man calls you.

Answer: "Thank you, it is very valuable information. You opened my eyes to my shortcomings. Will be thinking about dinner. "

3. Accept

In some cases, analyze the words that seem offensive to you really stands. Especially if they come from close and respected people. In this case, perceive their replicas not as an insult, but as criticism that can make you better.

We will not know about the motives of people, find out what exactly forced them to use sharp expressions. Perhaps this is a stormy reaction to your far from angelic behavior.

4. Reply to the intention, not on words

Any insult always has a hidden goal. Make a secret explicit: mark it.

For example, in response to rude words, tell me: "Wow! Between us happened something really serious, since you decided to hurt me. "

So, on the one hand, you will be able to knock out the opponent from the rut, and on the other - to find out the reason for his negative attitude.

5. Save calm

If an insult is not coming from a loved one, and from a colleague, a familiar or even a stranger, never show that you have been treated. Most likely, the insecurity lies behind them, dissatisfaction with their own life and the desire to just recoup on you. Do not allow the trick to work, react calmly and with a smile.

If necessary, continue to bend your line: ask what exactly caused a person with such a reaction, not paying attention to his words.

6. ignore

Often the best answer is his absence. If we are talking about Internet trolls, you can simply not respond to their comments or send Hamov. Well, "In Offline" you can always miss an insult by ears or leave. You have full right.

An example from ancient Roman history ... Once in public baths, someone hit Katon's policies. When the offender came apologized, Caton replied: "I do not remember the blow."

This phrase can be interpreted as: "You are so insignificant that I not only do not care about your apologies, but did not even notice the insult."

7. Use the law

You can attract an offender to justice or at least treat it to him. Punishment for insult is spelled out in the Code administrative offensesBut the slander is already in the field of criminal law. In case of insults from the head, you can contact the personnel department.

The main thing - remember: no one has the right to encroach on your honor, dignity and reputation. But you must answer people in the same way. Otherwise, any recommendations are meaningless.