The adult son died how to cope. How to survive the death of a child and how to live when the only son died, he will teach a psychotherapist

Life always ends with death, the mind we understand it, but when expensive people go out of this world, the emotions are torn. Death takes into non-existence of some, but at the same time breaks others. What to say a mother who is trying to survive the death of the sole son? How and how to help? There are still no answers to these questions.

Time does not heal

Psychologists, of course, help orphaned parents. They give advice how to survive the death of the Son, but before you listen to them, you need to understand some important things. This is especially true of those who want to help relive the grief to their friends or relatives.

No one is able to accept the death of his child. Will be held yearTwo, twenty, but this pain and longing still will not go anywhere. They say that time heals. This is not true. Just a person gets used to living with his grief. He can also smile, engaged in his favorite thing, but it will be a completely different person. After the death of a child inside the parents, a black deaf emptiness shares forever, in which there are unfulfilled hopes, unspoken words, feeling of guilt, insult and anger on the whole world.

With each new breath, these fragments are increasing, turning the insides in the bloody messenger. Of course, it is a metaphor, but those who wonder how to survive the death of the Son are experiencing approximately such sensations. Time will pass, and bloody mess will already become the usual phenomenon, but it is worth some exterior stimulus to remind the happening that sharp spikes will immediately break out of the embrace of emptiness and with distervection will cry up in the already slightly helable flesh.

Stages burning

For parents loss of the Son is a terrible tragedy, because it is impossible to find the reason that this care will justify. But the worst thing is that there is no medicine from this flour. Together with the death of a child, the mother buries and his heart, it is impossible to survive Death of the Son. How it is impossible to move the mountain from the spot. But suffering can be facilitated. You need to live your grief from beginning to end. It will be incredibly difficult, it is not easy to impossible, but the natural mechanism for the removal of voltage from complex circumstances is laid. If you go through all the steps, it will become a little easier. So, through what stages one who survived the death of the Son:

  1. Skid and hysterics.
  2. Depression.
  3. Mourning.
  4. Parting.

More about stages

As for the steps of passing through the mountain, then first the parents feel shock, such a state lasts from 1 to 3 days. During this period, people tend to deny what happened. They think that an error occurred or is some kind of bad dream. Some parents get stuck at this stage on long years. As a result, they begin to be observed serious mental deviations. For example, a mother who died a year old baby, can walk in the park for many years, sicking a doll in a stroller.

Shortly after shock and denial, the stage of sobbing and hysteria occurs. Parents can shout to hoarseness, and then fall into the state of complete emotional and physical exhaustion. This condition lasts about a week, and then goes depressed. Hysteria happened more and less often, but at the soul, anger, longing and sensation of emptiness begins to grow.

After depressing and the parents begins mourning. They often remember their child, scroll the brightest moments from his life. The mental pain is receding, but then rolls out again, I want to speak out or talk to someone about my son. This stage can last for a very long time, but then parents still say goodbye to their child and let him go. Heavy, mental torments turn into a quiet and light sadness. After such a tragedy, life will never be the same, but you need to live on. It is a pity that optimistic speeches of friends will not answer the question of how to help mother to survive the death of the son . Just surviving the grief from beginning to end, you can feel some relief.

Creativity, Sport, Conversations

It is impossible to cure pain from the loss of a child, but you can curb her, brute and learn to be distracted. How to survive the death of a son? You can start with a simple, for example, from creativity. In honor of the deceased son, it will be nice to draw a picture, write verse or start embroider. Perfectly distract physical exertion from thoughts. The larger the load, the stronger they dulk emotions.

Do not keep everything in yourself, it is necessary to talk to someone, it's best if it is a person who is in a similar situation, or could cope with his grief. Of course, maybe such that they are not talking to anyone, then you need to write about everything that bothers. To express their feelings with a letter is much easier than in a conversation, moreover, expressed, let and thus emotions will be less pressure.

Medical practice

IN similar questions It is better to take advantage of the tips of the psychologist. How to survive the death of the Son, they will certainly not teach, but will help a little. First of all, it is worth contacting a good specialist. This is especially true of those who are unable to cope with their experiences. In the campaign to the psychologist, there is nothing galloping, this doctor can tell the drugs that will slightly remove the emotional tension, will improve the sleep and the overall health of the body. The psychologist also adds several useful recommendations, selected individually for each patient.

Do not resort to alcohol help or narcotic substancesAlso, you do not need to independently assign yourself serious drugs. These ways will not help to experience the death of the Son, but only more exacerbate the situation.

Be sure to stick to the day's mode. Let through strength, but you need to eat. It is necessary to force yourself to go to bed at the same time. The correct mode helps reduce the number of stress hormones in the body.

Unprinted love

There is another way to survive the grief. The death of the son, as a real curse, will hang a black cloud over the heads of the parents everywhere, wherever they are. At one point in their world, it became empty, more of some kind of love, no one to give her care, which is uncomfortable. People closes in themselves, cease to communicate with others. They seem to be boiled in their own juice.

But a person is not created to live alone. All that is in the life of each of us, we get from other people, so you should not refuse to help, you do not need to ignore the calls of friends and relatives and at least once in a few days it is necessary to leave the house. It seems to man that his sufferings are unbearable, time and land stopped, and nothing else and anyone else. But look around, did other people stopped suffering or die?

Law of Psychology

It is harder to experience the death of adult children. At that moment, when it seems that life has not lived in vain, suddenly the soil goes out under his feet when they inform about the death of an adult son. The years have lived to seem meaningless, because everything was done for the sake of the child. So how to survive the death of the only adult son? In psychology, there is a simple and understandable law: to reduce your own pain, you need to help another person.

If parents lost their own child, this does not mean that their concerns and love do not need anyone else. There are many people like children and adults who need the help of others. People care about their children. Not because they are waiting for gratitude from them, but do it for their future and future subsequent generations. The care that the deceased children can no longer receive is to be sent to others, otherwise it will turn into a stone and kill its owner.

And at that time, while the person hesitates himself and suffer, somewhere, without waiting for help, another child will die. It is very an effective waywho will help to survive the death of an adult son. As soon as the orphaned parents begin to help the needy, they will feel much better. Yes, first will not be easy, but the time will smooth all the corners.

Very often the death of a child causes a sense of guilt from her parents. Prevent tragedy, change history - they think that they could do something. But be that as it may, a person is not given to predict the future and change the past.

Also, parents believe that they are not entitled to experience more happiness after the death of the child. Any positive emotions perceived as betrayal. People stop smiling, day-to-day manipulations are already making themselves before automatism, and the evenings simply look into the emptiness. But incorrectly discharged at eternal suffering. For a child, parents are a whole world. What would your child say if he saw how his world collapses in his absence?

Honor of deceased

You can also express your respect to the deceased in other ways, without committing yourself to eternal torment. For example, you can more often visit the grave, pray for the rest, make an album of happy photos or collect together all its homemade postcards. In periods of longing, you need to remember only happy moments and thank for what they were.

On the second Sunday of December at seven in the evening it is necessary to put a candle on the windowsill. On this day, parents who lost children unite in their grief. Each light makes it clear that the children illuminated their lives and will forever remain in memory. And this hope is that the grief is not forever.

For help you can refer to religion. As practice shows, the belief helps to cope with the grief. In Orthodoxy, it is said that the parent will be able to see his child after death. This promise greatly acquires old parents. Buddhism says the souls are reborn and for sure in the next earthly life mother and son will meet again. Hope to a new meeting does not allow the mother to break or prematurely go away.

True, there are those who turn away from faith. They do not understand why God took exactly their child when the killers and maniacs continue to raise the world. Killed grief parents of father often tell one parable.

Parable

Once, one old man died daughter. She was very beautiful and young, a loose parent just did not find a place. After the funeral, he came to Mount Ararat every day and asked God about why he took exactly his daughter who could live for many years.

For many months, the old man left unanswered, and once God had appeared before him and asked the old man to make him staff, then he would answer his question. The old man went to the nearest grove, found a fallen branch and made a staff out of it, but it was worth a leaving for him, as he broke. I had to look for a stratum material. He saw a young church, cut him off and made a staff that was surprisingly strong.

Brought an old man to God, he praised the staff and asked why he cut off a young church, who else to grow and grow. The old man told everything, and then God said: "You yourself answered your questions. To rely on the staff and do not fall, it is always made from young trees and branches. So in my kingdom, you need young, young and beautiful, which can be support. "

Children are rays that highlight our lives. With their arrival, we have a lot of rethink and learn a lot. Just not everyone is destined to live long and happily, you need to understand it and continue to live, keep in the heart of the joy from the fact that this child was once near.

Children are the meaning of our existence, the source of joy and pride. When the child appears on the light, the parents are full of hope, and even the thought of a possible loss of any mother tries to move as far as possible, as it seems to survive the death of a child.

God gave, God took

A few more generations ago such situations as the death of the Son in infancy happened in almost every family. True, and then they gave birth more, and the consolation was in the fact that the baby became an angel, and the peasant wisdom suggested that not every seed was destined to climb and become a counter.

There is even a contemporary person that you will have to experience the death of a son or daughter. Yanush Korchak, a famous teacher and a fighter for the rights of the child, even wrote that the mother should realize that eBENKA is the right to death, and his life can last a decade, but only a few years.

This idea may seem strange and terrible, and it is clear that no mother wants her the only son to die. Korchak suggests that the fear of imaginary dangers will constantly constantly limit the freedom of the child, and many bans make the cognitive activity of the child.

Why did it happen?

The child's death inevitably causes the parents a strongest feeling of guilt. Many women do not speak in vain that they would be easier to die than suffering. The child is subconsciously regarded as its own continuation, and with his loss a person really loses the particle itself.

After the shock passes, parents may experience anger towards doctors who could not save the child. Despite the fact that the disease from which the daughter died was incurable, they accuse themselves that they did not make everything possible for cure, did not appeal to the best clinic or folk healers.

Don't fight pain

The human psyche is able to offer absolutely not constructive ways to cope with the prosecution pain. For example, a woman who died a breast child can quite seriously believe that the baby was replaced in the maternity hospital, and her healthy baby gave someone else's people. Such a manifestation of grief can be an impetus to the development of mental disorder, so close people are simply obliged to insist on treatment with a psychotherapist.

To survive the death of a daughter or son, it may take years of painful experiences, when every reminder of loss causes acute pain. Attempts to drown out suffering only give the moment when the image of the deceased child can take its place in the memory of parents, and their life will find meaning.

Often the loss of the child becomes the cause of the collapse of the family. Spouses who do not imagine how to accept the death of the Son, live their grief alone, moving away from each other. Qualified assistance of a psychotherapist, which can be obtained in the center of Dr. Golubeva, will help parents cope with chaos reigning in the shower, and become a support for each other and support to read the tragedy.

People who survived the death of the Son, the more the only one, sometimes you have to suffer alone. No, of course, surrounding, especially relatives and close friends, always beside to support.

But often the whole of the help that you can have, comes down to the words "Life continues" or "Fight, we are with you." But will it help you find an answer to the question how to survive the death of the sole son?

Pragmatic way

Every person is experiencing grief in his own way, but for many centuries, during which people lost their moms, children, beloved husbands and wives, friends, developed pragmatic approach To the question of how to survive the death of a loved one. Period reinforced spiritual experiences After death native man conditionally divided into three stages.

The first stage

it shock, stupor, failure What has already happened. During this period, people behave differently. Someone is looking for consolation in alcohol, someone with his head plunge into work, someone replaced themselves and takes on all the troubles on the organization of funeral. It is sometimes a person loses the meaning of life, especially if death has suffered a native child.

What helps

Help massage, Soothing Tubes on herbs. Cry during this period you can and need. Feel free to no one, tears are a natural reaction to a big grief. This stage continues, Stage of Shock, about nine days.

Second stage

This stage lasts about forty days. Perhaps a person still cannot accept the loss, denies the happening, although it understands that the native person does not return. But this understanding does not yet give that peace of mind, whom a person in the soul wants to achieve.

What helps

During this period, a person can have a voice, the steps of the deceased son, he can come in a dream and try to speak. If you happen to you speak with my son in a dream, ask him to come. I completely let go of the deceased person too early. Feel free to good memories, talk about dead with relatives, sharing your experiences with hunt. If they can't help you with a word or case, then at least be able to listen. Tears during this period can also help periodically come to themselves. But if these periods continue almost around the clock, you need to refer to a qualified psychologist.

Third stage

About the year, from the moment of death, some calm can come to you. Although it is possible to re-splash. However, you probably already learned how to manage their griefYou know what to do to calm down. Distracted for your favorite case, talk with friends, spend time with them together. If you experienced all the listed stages of the tragedy, you can accept loss and learn to live on. Yes, the memories will torment you from time to time, but you do not reject them. Sometimes you can also cry, most importantly, that you will soon calm down and take yourself in hand. After all, you have a family, she is not going anywhere. Your relative will help you, with time you will have a new stimulus for life, to a happy life.

On my e-mail box came a letter from the grief mother. Through years, she managed to survive the death of the Son, and now she is ready to support others in this mountain.

My name is Valentina Romanovna. 53 years old, from the city of Moscow.

Probably, I was able to survive the death of my son, but as soon as I say, I begin to understand that it was impossible.

When death comes tragically, you pierce dazzling shock, sobbing and the need to organize the funeral "on strong tablets".

You are already worried about the death of the Son, being in a soulless, semi-sequence.

I will say frankly that I had the only son, and my relatives supported me.

All gray and for a moment the old spouse did not move away.

Girlfriends wound with the ammonia alcohol, helping me to survive the loss of silence.

It is impossible to choose the words, and only a few people are capable of it.

After the funeral of the Son - 9 days. Commemoration.

I deny, I do not believe that it happened. Now the door will open, and the son will enter the room, and it will end this terrible torment.

At this stage (9 days), it is simply impossible to realize that the Son is already resting in the grave.

Everything reminds of him, and you are worried about the fact that this grief will not survive.

As a mother, I was implanted with despondency, joined my soul deep, gradually starting to understand that these are not nightmarish visions.

After nine days, we stayed with my husband together. We were called, they continued to condole. Often came familiar, but I would drive all our personal grief.

For 10-30 days I wanted only one- as soon as possible to reunite with your favorite son.

I was sure that after his death, I could not stretch for a long time. And this, oddly enough, gave me a stingy and ruthless hope.

They say that you need to throw out (attribute away from the eyes) all things that resemble the son.

Husband did it, leaving the photo of the photo.

The consolation did not come, I lost the meaning of life, somewhere with the mind of realizing that it is obliged to divide this cross with a bare person in my hands.

Yes, I forgot to say when our son died, we were 33.

We sat in an embrace and reassured each other. Lived on parents' money. And they were still harder, the only grandson went away.

On the 40th day, I felt that I was very little "let go."

Probably, indeed they say that the soul flies to the sky, leaving close and relatives.

I continued to worry, but it was a slightly different stage of grief.

Son will no longer return, and I finally believed it.

Only after that, my body (guardian angel / psyche) - I don't know exactly, I began to pull me out "from the next world."

I lost weight, aged and looked. I became little to "peck" - without appetite and pleasure.

My husband and I went to the cemetery, and here again it became bad.

The experience of the death of a single son was given to me with "jumps", and the lambroid was merciless time.

It is capable of making burrs from the soul, some incomprehensible way to cross the suffering with people, who also experienced the loss of the child.

Approximately six months I did not want anything, avoiding any desire.

When the experiences were stuck a little, began to go out, answering questions to the unequivocal answer.

So it was a year. I settled on a slight job, holding the death of the son deep inside.

Two, three, four, twenty years ...

The death of the son is impossible to survive. You do not live, but just continue to live.

From the memory, images are erasing, delayed wounds are dragged, but the grief is still returned, not declared and shrill.

You forgive me that I'm sick.

But I do not know until now how to survive the death of your beloved son.

Valentina Romanovna Kiel.

The material was prepared by Ya Eyrivsky.

Next post

Share a page on social networks

Number of reviews: 95

    After what happened, my husband and I have stayed together, really orphans.

    We left all: relatives, acquaintances, employees, about friends in general to speak inappropriate.

    Everyone said that they are shocked, do not know what to tell us, and went into our calm, prosperous, happy life Do your affairs.

    Our only son, who was 27 years old, died in an accident, more precisely, his car destroyed MAZ, from the machine of the Ministry of Emergency Situations An hour was cut off, then an hour was taken to the hospital, 8 hours of resuscitation, and our decent, right, honest, responsible child, left ..

    The month did not even tear, misunderstanding, not perception ...

    We always have such independent, suddenly felt the need for people, and they were not near ...

    She began to look around for themselves similar, those who already survived it ...

    You can only speak with those who will understand what it is grief!

    You wake up in the morning and it seems that you have dreamed of, and then you understand that the reality is not doing anywhere.

    Specify questions: why, what, how to live now?

    There will be no children, there will be no grandchildren - it is unnatural human life!

    Increasingly overlaps the pain, and more often wash the tears ...

    Everything was for his sake, son, and the psychiatrist said that she had to live his life. And in the church - love only God ...

    Pick up the best: the son died at the Trinity ...

    I survived the care of the sole son.

    And the advice was given to me the same. I try to live your life, only this is not life, but a parody of her.

    I don't go to church anymore, because, in my opinion, the ball "material benefit" rules there.

    Soon there will be 3 years.

    No one will give you advice.

    You stayed with your husband, it means there is about com.

    I stayed quite alone.

    While you live, the memory of the son lives.

    An hour will come, and you will leave to my son, I don't know what it will be - a meeting in heaven or nothing at all, but what you will be laid with the sick, this is certain.

    And the pain does not leave, only becomes not so acute.

    He was only 19 years old. And although I all say that you are strong and need to live on, I have no strength to live.

    I want to my beloved son, and no words will help here.

    I also stopped going to church, and I think only about a meeting with son.

    Life is now like glass.

    I look around and do not understand what I'm doing here.

    Why should I be here?

    Neither work, nor friends, nor relatives help.

    As if the door slammed, behind which laughter, joy, happiness and pleasure from small joy of life.

    Life ended. Only fragments remained.

    My son died.

    He was 24 years old.

    All these years I lived with him, for him.

    I do not know how to live without him.

    Yes, it turns out I'm not the same, I am 28 years old.

    I also slowly go crazy!

    Marina comments:

    I also slowly go crazy!

    I beg you, hold on.

    Although I say empty words.

    For all sins, forgive me.

    Hello!

    He was only 25 years old.

    Lord! How hurt and hard!

    No one will comfort - nor friends nor relatives.

    I really understand everyone who wrote here.

    It is impossible to survive this, no time treats.

    No more point.

    Things and portrait makes no sense to clean, the child is constantly in the soul and in the heart.

    Marina comments:

    Hello.

    I read your letter and chopping tears.

    In August, they killed my only son Maxim, and all life lost meaning!

    I want to know only we will meet there? And nothing more!

    So hurt the words Do not describe ...

    good evening.

    I am from those mothers who have lost their children.

    I still can not find the Force Start Live Further, even though I still have a daughter, which only 7 years old.

    But since I was almost the whole life for them alone, for me my son was everything in this life.

    And with his loss, I lost my meaning.

    I can not understand why God is picking up children who have so much dreams and wish to live!?

    Soon there will be 6 months, and I cry every day and I do not find a response: why!?

    We all forces and patience.

    Why is something constantly knocking in the brain?

    After all, it should not be! These children should bury parents! How unfair!

    There is no one left and nothing - only me and my pain!

    I shudder from each sound, run to the doors, to open my son, but here comes awareness of reality, and I want to shout, tears roll in a hail, and further again the most sharp and burning, and then emptiness.

    God, how is it? For what?

    And so day after day, and there is no end pain!

    Arina comments:

    Why does Godnka take children? ...

    Bold, support those who are sinking in this grief.

    I also ask you, live, and forgive me for touched your misfortune with your incompass.

    Julia comments:

    Marina comments:
    I want to know only we will meet there? And nothing more!

    You know, I also killed that I would never hear his voice and jokes, I do not rejoice.

    The Lord takes the best, and I always knew that death was not the end ...

    My son has become to come in dreams.

    First, in the form of his human image, only consisting of smoke or fog, then came accompanied by someone, like a monk with a scythe, kissed me, as if she said, and went into a bright stain in the dark kingdom.

    I then cried a lot and asked God to not wash his soul, save her, and what would he be in any kind of appearance, and in whatever of the worlds would not be, I will always love him and wait for a meeting with him.

    And today he again came to me in a dream - in the form of a warm, kind, green bowl.

    I first did not understand what it was he, but by the end of his sleep felt a soul, heart (I can not explain in words), and I learned him, and brightened with my soul, and the joy of what he was alive.

    I love him very much and in this appearance.

    Yes, I still, no matter how it looked, our love is eternal!

    I want to support everyone.

    Try to communicate with them using meditation and internal concentration.

    I did it, and it became easier for me.

    The main thing is that they are alive, just they are different.

    I so son himself said when I came to sleep. I am: "Son, you died !?", and he: "No, Mom, I am alive, just I-" Other ".

    I take your death as a long journey, in which my son left, and in which I, too, when my time comes, I will go, and we will definitely meet him.

    And I'm sick!

    Soon a year, as Son buried.

    Epilepsy attack - a blow - the fracture of the base of the skull, 7 hours operation and three days coma.

    I already knew that he would not survive. He herself said: "Your Lord!"

    From infancy there was fear that he would die, and I buried him in a dream dozens of times.

    Everyone said: "will live for a long time." And he lived 38 years old.

    I wore me on my arms, always sorry.

    One dream: hug him, and hear ordinary words: "Do not worry, mommy!".

    What can happen to me now? I like tears.

    I know that he is good there, and I will definitely see him.

    Thank God for everything!

    Everything turned away from us.

    Thanks to friends of the Son, they supported us as they could.

    As I survived, I did not touch my mind, I do not know.

    This pain, longing, tears, they will never end.

    Everything collapsed.

    Only one desire is to see his son, just hug.

    Marina comments:

    I believe that is alive, but in another dimension.

    But what kind of "hellish hell" to stay here without him ...

    My grief is already 5 years old.

    In October 2011, I did not become my son, 22 years old.

    And I want to say you that this pain never subsides, and even on the contrary, it only enhances it over time.

    With thoughts, I fall asleep about him, I wake up, and all day I think only about one thing.

    There are moments when I can distract for an hour, and then it hits the current.

    I went to the psychologist, did not help!

    With girlfriends since then we do not communicate, since it was a rumor that I was crazy, and I urgently need to be in a mental hospital (they decided so because I was constantly crying).

    The husband began to drink, and now, from a happy family (in the past), nothing remains.

    I understood what a cruel and unfair world, because the son was killed drunk rascals.

    Together with soulful pain, malice and hatred settled. I do not show them, but they are.

    And the feeling of guilt for not saving his son.

    He felt that he would not be soon, and every day told me about it.

    I was terribly listening to this, and I scolded him.

    Now I understand that he asked these conversations.

    I did not help!

    The heart breaks away from pain.

    Finally, I want to say: "People, love and take care of each other, especially the parents of children. No terrible grief than a child's loss, after which life is divided on before and after. "

    After, this is no longer life, but suffering.

    Vita comments:

    Valentina Romanovna, 53 years old, I just searched for the person who survived the mountain, as I am worried about now - Vita Nikolaevna, 49 years old.

    Good day.

    I read your lines and see there its similar grief.

    I also have the only son of 21 years in production.

    My husband and I have been here for 8 months as we exist.

    I want to find a person and communicate, mutually helping to survive, giving will and patience.

    If you do not mind, we could communicate.

    Bye.

    Your love and pride for your child, his love for you, the family is great happiness.

    It will hurt and hard, but try not to upset your children.

    Write, help others, do not close your soul.

    It fell to us, it was impossible to change anything.

    I am one of you.

    5 years ago my son died. He was 23 years old.

    They must be proud of us.

    Close and say thank you that they are with us.

    Children see you, live and surprise them.

    We are strong!

    He worked a trucker, drove home for a day and died.

    I was not at home.

    Maybe it could be saved: they said hemorrhage into the brain and stop the heart.

    I can not live without him.

    Why did it happen so?

    He was so strong, all organs are healthy.

    Well, how could he die?!

    September 26, 2016, the heart of my son Artemum stopped fighting, but the most terrible thing that we learned about it after 11 days - and he lay on all this time in the morgue, not necessary for anyone ... he was 28.

    No one from the hospital workers, while he was alive and workers of the morgue, when the son was already dead, did not even occur to find his relatives - with him there was a passport.

    He was beaten, brutally, on the head ... along the way to work on the watch.

    And he was lying on a cold iron shelf in the morgue ...

    I do not know why to live, for what - he is my only child, everything was for him, his future family, grandchildren ...

    Some mrozy drug addicts have deprived me of everything.

    Despair, anger on people, pain - these feelings remained.

    What should I do?

    As I understand you.

    I do not live, but either.

    Because I do not believe that it is no longer.

    Here the door will open and my son will enter.

    I stayed alone.

    I think everything: when will I come to him?

    Very hard live ...

    Hugged him lying in a puddle of the blood, already breathless and even this was a consolation - to adhere to him, support.

    He himself did not wait for this. Not going to die. Very close we were with him. Proud of them.

    I always believed that there is no death at the Lord. And now I don't feel anything and I do not understand ...

    And of course, there is no one before our lives, people cannot even imagine such horror that we are experiencing, and they are interpreted instinctively.

    This is our personal maternal grief, our hardest cross.

    Perhaps we will become cleaner, kinder.

    After all, nothing comes besides hope for a meeting there ...

    And the truth say that when you cry often, then they pour it there with your tears?

    I sob every day. Nightly sleep badly.

    I think everything is there alone?

    After all, my son was only 19 years old. So young and beautiful.

    And I will never even have grandchildren who are similar to him.

    And I'm so lonely. With no one to talk about it.

    Only photos remained.

    And so I want to hug and kiss your native child.

    Where to find consolation?

    Mommies, dear, reading your bitter, insanely bitter stories, I can not stop tears.

    Each of your rehabilitation, each phrase responds to the heart.

    Only losing the only son, the only hope, you can understand the whole horror, the whole nightmare, creating in the soul of the orphaned mother.

    On May 28, 2015, he died capable, intelligent, beloved, educated, who took place in his life a wonderful son. My pride, my life, my breath. Now it is not.

    On April 4, he came to us in a guest, a strong, remarkably folded, energetic person.

    And on April 12, his spin fell on his holiday on his holiday, the 13th of his number was hospitalized to the Botkin hospital with very bad blood indicators: low hemoglobin and platelets.

    They took the puncture of the spinal cord, made MRI and diagnosed: gastric cancer 4 stages with metastases in the spinal cord, bone, lymph nodes ...

    And after a month and a half of my child did not become, every hour my boy became weaker and weaker, the damned disease just sucked all his strength from it, and he died in my hands.

    Questions for what, why, how and why now live, blames the brain from morning to evening and from night to morning. Disappeared the meaning of life.

    Such a longing, such a black around, and nothing to cling to.

    Buried my son on the trinity.

    In seven monasteries and in very many temples they read forty things about his health. Prayed, asked, hoped ...

    It was a year and seven and a half months, as there is no my boy.

    Tears do not dry, pain does not subside. My husband and I are alone. Everyone moved away from us. As if they are afraid to become engaged in grief. We are traveling.

    I go to the temple on Saturdays, and there only crying.

    My child wanted to live so much. He helped people a lot. What is his so!?

    No answer…

    Take the best, brightest. BUT WHY???

    There is no strength to live in this terrible casting card.

    Dear moms, I read and feel your pain every cell, shower, like a curtain nerve.

    There is nothing more pain than losing your favorite child.

    They say that time heals. It is not true, there is time, and inside all the bleed and hurts, and the main thing is that nothing can be changed, and from it is even more painful.

    Yesterday was a year and a half from the death of my son Kirill, and everything just happened, and coming to the grave, I do not understand that the son "there", and I wait or waiting for him.

    Cyril is healthy and strong driving on the car on his output from the house, and no longer came back to me.

    He did not work two weeks after his thirty feet.

    I was looking for it for 9 days, the leaflets were expressed, the announcement of the local television was announced, drew all the instances of the region.

    And Kiryusha was lying in the morgue of the neighboring area all this time, and nobody said to us, but he was found in his car and with all documents.

    He buried him only for the thirteenth day, and all this due to the negligence of the police.

    And as it was terrible to see his beloved son in identification in Morga: he lay so cold and helpless, sewn with these terrible threads.

    Does this come true if this will cure time?

    Dear moms, I wish you only forces to bring the mountain, which fell on our shoulders.

    The kingdom of heaven to our children.

    Valentina Romanovna, I agree with you, because I still do not know how to survive the death of your beloved son.

    When a little child bury, this is one, and when 20-30 year old leaves us ...

    From this you can really touch the mind.

    As if at all and did not live ...

    Nothing remains ... only a monument and memory ...

    I think all the time why you do not write in the Bible, how to live a mother?

    Mary how did it live, after the crucifixion of the son of Jesus? She found strength in himself.

    And I'm in complete despair.

    How I know this grief, dear moms.

    And the words of consolation do not exist!

    To live without a loved child is unbearably painful.

    And sometimes it seems that I went crazy.

    My 29 years later was son.

    2 years have passed and 10 months, and the wound is getting deeper.

    Two years did not go, and ran to the cemetery and in the place of death in the hope of seeing it.

    And only recently began to understand what actually happened - and I do not want to live.

    The world has become different without it ... the sun shines not so ... and herself as in another dimension.

    Only tears, tears ...

    The meaning of life is lost.

    Before your eyes, only his worried body and emptiness ...

    And was my Dimuly smart, gentle, loved skiing since childhood. In general, a person who took place.

    Just to live yes to rejoice, but ...

    Try to fold your breast child and adults to fold it into your closed hands, maybe it will be a little easier.

    I helped me.

    Talk to them, ask the council, please them with your mood.

    They are near and see us!

    It's just life, my dear moms and dads.

    My son died at 23 years ...

    How and who admits that the way, healthy, sports, with higher education The guy who loved life and people suddenly died at work?

    What kind of mother is such a cross?

    For what has grown a good person?

    He was only 25 years old, after 11 days the wedding was scheduled.

    The bride is crying every day.

    How now to live and why?

    I read the comments of women mothers, and the soul itself breaks into parts.

    Why did God gave him a chance, took, as if the flower was thorough?

    Nothing foreshadowed terrible grief.

    How to live?

    Son died 34 years old, cardiomyopathy.

    I did not complain about where it was, why?

    Write, maybe someone had such a grief?

    My son did not 2.5 years ago.

    There was a stroke, well recovered, then the husband died, deterioration began, and then hemorrhage into the brain, and everything ...

    I lost my favorite men for 10 months.

    I can not still come to my senses: it is not true - time does not heal.

    Especially hard on holidays, and in family dates.

    We were a very happy family: a loving attentive son, smart and beautiful.

    There was no factors of the risk of stroke, except that the pace of life, but who he is now calm.

    I pay every day, I communicate less with my friends, I think that they cannot understand me.

    We raised children together, and their problems seem to me with such trifles.

    I do not understand what it means to let go?

    Do you forget this and not remember?

    I have a wonderful daughter and a wonderful granddaughter, I'm afraid for them constantly!

    But even their love and care do not help calm down!

    The place in the heart that occupied and occupies the Son, no one can take anything!

    Constantly thought for what and why!

    In the morning hysteria with sobs, then pills.

    I try not to tell my daughter, she is very worried about me.

    All sorts of thoughts come to mind, it hurts to live, and only the Duma about her stop me.

    But very painful!

    I constantly think that I did not do everything, I didn't say everything about how I love him, although he always knew it.

    The feeling of guilt that he is not, and I live, constantly squeezes the heart ...

    Eight months ago, after severe illness - the brain tumor - my son died. He was 36 years old.

    First, in addition to accountless horror, I did not feel anything and did not understand.

    Then they started through the consciousness to break through the thoughts: what it is no longer possible to return that nothing can be changed that he will never live.

    And even worse from this hopelessness.

    I live, I work, I do some actions as a robot, but nothing comes to consciousness.

    As a person, I just don't have me - this is not me.

    I can not think about anything - except: did I do everything to cure him?

    The helplessness in front of this disease simply finally deprives me of strength.

    We have trusted each other very much, and before the last I tried to believe myself and unail the hope of Hope that we could handle her.

    But ... life ...

    I know it was scary because he tried to figure out: if something is there beyond the Best of Genesis?

    How is he there now?

    What can you do to be good there, if you can not return it?

    Thank you Tatiana.

    I became a little easier from your words.

    My son recently died, 22 years old.

    Also 40 days no.

    I think I'm going crazy.

    I very much feel - on the day of his death suddenly felt a strong joy, a boyish such, and relief, as if the cargo was huge with his shoulders, he had long, for a short one, a minute he felt, 3 days he was still like that before, rejoiced when I In meditation thought about him, and our souls met.

    9 days - already another, - he rethought a lot of things, then after 3 weeks the soul came to me in a dream, already without a person - just a luminous contour of a person, even without sex already.

    I know that on the 40th day of the soul goes to the other worlds, probably, it will be stopped to feel so much.

    Yesterday I looked at the film "Our Fork", fleece for a while.

    I am engaged in spiritual practices, I feel very people, and my son very feel.

    I know that there is no death, there is only the death of the body that the soul is eternal, but the mind still refuses to understand it.

    Girls, cute, how did you withstand it, without knowledge, without an technician, without the ability to restore yourself and put in order?

    Cold, do not close, do not be angry, find the strength for love and compassion for people, help and love your loved ones and not only - this will be your salvation.

    In me, as if something was revealed, the compassion is very strong, not indifference.

    What previously did not touch at all, now causes a bunch of different experiences.

    It doesn't happen anything like that, in all there is a great intention of God, on all his will.

    Many things we can not understand our level of development.

    You just need to take as it is.

    Find faith, love, gratitude and humility before His will.

    Believe that everything comes from love for us and our children.

    Today was in the church - Virgin Mary, too, through it - the death of the son.

    No one is insured from this, it is, on the contrary, the lot of strengths.

    9th, after dinner, he became bad, called an ambulance.

    They asked about his data, and when I said that the policy remained at home in Baimak, they answered that let him turn to the place of residence.

    In the evening the condition worsened, pressure and shortness of breath rose.

    Again called in the ambulance, Feldsher arrived, I told him that he had suffered a heart attack on his legs, sick pneumonia, he measured his pressure, making a pressure injection, told me to take a reception tomorrow, for some reason to the surgeon and, referring to the absence of the policy, Left him at home.

    After that, the son fell asleep.

    But early in the morning it became very bad, strong shortness of breath.

    Again called an ambulance, the brigade came in 25 minutes.

    But it was too late, he died in my arms.

    He was only 44 years old.

    Medic himself.

    All my life worked as a massage therapist, raised to the feet of seriously ill, was a kind and responsive person.

    Built a two-storey house, he did everything in him.

    Today was in the hospital in the city of Baimak.

    And there I learned that on March 6, he did fluorography, where he found two-way pneumonia.

    The attending physician (surname is hidden by the administration) appointed only outpatient treatment.

    He went to her at the reception and in March, and in April, and in May.

    I lost 21 kg: weighed 83, it became 62.

    May 26 caused Dr. to the house, he became bad, but she again prescribed medicines, and left.

    Today I met her, and she began to prove that he cured.

    And it says the doctor, almost 40 years of experience, which headed for many years VTEK.

    Why then did he die from pneumonia?

    Soon there will be three months how my son died, but for a minute I can't forget him, everything before my eyes.

    Why do people who need to take care of people's health, such worn, inattentive and soulless?

    Does not leave this question as I am to blame for you, my boy, son.

    I'm sorry that I didn't happen next, I'm sorry that I didn't hear you immediately, I'm sorry for now, I was sometimes busy, forgive hundred thousand times.

    I am 41 years old, and I have the only son, he was 19 years old, smart, very beautiful, but there were health problems.

    They were still observed at the institute, and so everything was stable: grew, he lived, he entered medical.

    But another disease appeared. Diabetes.

    I could not muffle it, constant jumps, but this is not a reason for death!

    In July 17 went to krasnodar region To grandmother, pulled up all the relatives: My brothers, wives, children.

    We planned to come a little later, by the end of August, by the beginning of September, and the son did not wait and went alone.

    There was an unbearable heat, but in the afternoon he did not go out, and sat at home under the air conditioner.

    On July 18, with his brother and nephew went to ride the courts, in the evening they went to the cafe, came home satisfied, joyful, but in the morning, the son got sick, he had such a thing that was lying on the sofa.

    In the evening I called my native only child, asked how it was.

    I was at work.

    He said that he sacked sugar, everything is normal, but legs sore, get up hard and that I come faster ...

    I can not write, pour into tears ...

    What I answered that after working he would call him back.

    But in the evening brother called me and said: I urgently leave.

    I started tantrum, I left my husband immediately from Ulyanovsk, I did not believe, and now I do not believe.

    08/19/17 My son left our lives, Feldscher came, and could not even make a dam, torture sugar.

    From helplessness on his side, the son began to panic and choke.

    I did not turn to the hospital, the doctor began to call in intensive care, and my son went away, after 30 minutes she came, but it was too late, the time was missed, my son was gone, in consciousness and memory, sharp heart death, and wrote .

    But as I didn't feel the trouble, I didn't say how I love him, I didn't get along, I could not forgive myself for it, everything would be different, all my life was spinning around him, and now everything broke out, and the meaning lost.

    We stayed with my mother alone, we can not talk about your beloved son, your beloved grandson, how hurts, unbearably the heart River in pieces.

    For us, he is alive, and just came out ...

    Elena comments:

    Good day, there is no strength to keep this unbearable pain more, I can not realize, the brain refuses to believe that this happened, the worst grief crossed the threshold of our cheerful and friendly family: why, and why so early?!

    Hello, Elena!

    My name is light, I'm 42 reptiles.

    He was all for me, after the birth of our first dead daughter.

    A month before 19, my son had the first seizure.

    My husband and I did not believe: how a normal healthy young man can suddenly get sick?

    Then there were two more attacks, went in the morning to the doctor, he discharged a pill, I went to work, and my husband went to the pharmacy.

    The son fell at home and died.

    Life has become empty, so we think about the child.

    Maybe not everything is lost and the meaning of life will appear?

    I have three sons, intelligent, decent guys, and our husband envied - which we raised sons.

    My Middle Son Anatoly died in an accident, he drove driving at the wheel.

    My son was 40 years old.

    The grandchildren remained, good, beautiful and clever wife ...

    Hello.

    Not to survive this.

    17 years. How so?

    Returned home from study. "Electro Arc" walked, and just fell.

    Friends called, said that it seems not to breathe.

    I'm going crazy so far.

    The ambulance went to an hour.

    I think he died with us with dad in his hands.

    Tried to keep it.

    Breathed for him, dad Massage Heart did, but alas.

    Also 2 brothers and sisters remained.

    I pray for him.

    Skidy day and night, they say that it is impossible ...

    How old are these mothers waiting for death and meet with their sons?

    And the time does not heal, on the contrary, it becomes more painful ...

    Sobbed while reading.

    How can I feel sorry for moms who have lost their kids.

    My friend's son died at work at 23 years old, now it will be soon for seven years, as it is not with me, and I still do not believe and do not accept it.

    Natives turned away, and familiar shakes from me, like a sweeper.

    I live with this unbearable pain, nothing pleases, and what to do, I thought that I would not stretch for a long time, but for seven years it will be December 28th.

    All mommies sympathize and condolences, the world you in the soul!

    Elena comments:

    But as I didn't feel the trouble, I did not say how I love him, I didn't get alongside, I could not forgive myself for it, everything would be different, all my life was spinning around him, and now everything broke out ...

    So I, Mom, did not even feel that my son died, even the heart did not predict anything! How so?

    Why they say that the maternal heart feels mischievous, and what was my one silently?

    And now it is torn into parts and how I regret that I probably told him that I love him, he is my son!

    Forgive me Son, I'm sorry ...

    At 7 months, together with the vaccination, hepatitis "B" was brought.

    How many we moved to him are not to convey words.

    Lied in 6 hospitals.

    In 5 years, we normalized enzymes, and removed us from accounting.

    All this time, we observed diet. Everything was fine.

    At 18, he married, a child was born.

    But at some point I missed him.

    There were problems with work, he began to drink and, naturally, the liver could not stand it.

    For the last three days he walked himself not his own.

    He said that stomach hurts and tormented diarrhea.

    He never complained about pain, and then I did not say that he had vomiting and liquid stools with blood.

    He was taken out at a low pressure.

    I did not see it anymore.

    From great blood loss, it has shock.

    He made a sleeping injection, and the son no longer woke up.

    I have three children, he is the eldest.

    Good, responsive, always helped us and was always there.

    I still do not believe that it is not.

    My health has greatly staggered.

    I go to doctors, but I think it is from longing to son.

    In the morning, on the morning of March 9, we drank tea with sweets donated to them for a holiday, and in the evening I was taken away by an ambulance in a difficult condition, and after another 2 weeks it was not, the kidney, lungs, heart refused.

    Even in intensive care, while he could still speak, he rushed home all the time, he even thoughts did not allow that he was dying.

    I no longer have anyone, there is no one in someone else's city - we moved 8 years ago, but we always had only two, the rest of the strangers.

    4 cats and a dog remained, only they hold, and so only one desire - as soon as possible to his wife, I even cooked my place next to him.

    In God, I do not believe anymore, I do not want to believe in God, who takes the only child from his mother.

    But for the Son, I still pray, as I can, maybe he will be better from my prayer.

    Once in a dream, and maybe not in a dream, Zeyushka asked me to let me go, I try, only bad it turns out, i.e. It does not work at all.

    And also a huge, terrible feeling of guilt: I did not save him, only me.

    He was so wonderful, clever, beautiful, he did so much for me, and I did not save him.

    My hell has already come, probably, I deserved it.

    If only my boy was good there or at least no longer hurt.

    I love you so much.

    Once, in 2001, I buried during the month of both my parents, it was a nightmare, but now it's completely different, there is no words to describe all the horror that happens to me: feelings of guilt, unbearable longing, fear, hopelessness, Empty, grief and despair.

    Only work saves, there are moments that I feel like before, but it quickly passes, tears every day, but no one sees them.

    My son spoke me earlier, that I am strong, but I'm not like that, just life puts me in such circumstances that it is nowhere to go, it is necessary to climb further what I am trying to do now.

    I just want him to be good now, nothing else is waiting.

    I am 43 years old, I am no longer afraid to die, but I still have a son 9 years old, so we will live on.

    All of you, mommy, good health, consolation, strength and patience.

    And our children are now forever with us, and always young.

    My mother-in-day son died two days ago, I'm a junior wife.

    I want to help her, but I do not know how.

    Tell me how to survive such a grief?

    Greetings to you, Irina.

    I sincerely empathize with you.

    You are on the page with the desired material.

    Please read the publication and comments left.

    1.5 years passed as not my son.

    And the pain is still the same - time does not heal.

    Maybe he treats, but just do not live so much.

    i have no holidays now!

    New Year's Eve - People Everyone is run somewhere, buy something, the Christmas trees, gifts, and I have everything, as in the fog.

    I look at them, as on savages and go, like an extension.

    In every young guy I see a son, I want to call him, and here reality comes - a terrible, mean, unfair reality! I often cry.

    Friends all moved away - uninteresting to communicate with me now - always sad, not laughing never.

    People, imagine, I learned to laugh!

    I do not please nothing in this life - I'm alone, all the time one with my grief.

    The day passed - and okay. Always like this…

    Fourth new Year Without son.

    Holidays now do not exist for me.

    Dimocheka would be 33 years old, but it was crushing the cargo.

    Beautiful, smart, favorite son.

    During these years, everything was: disbelief, denial of what happened and thoughts about suicide: just to see him faster.

    I walked constantly to the church, in the cemetery and to the place of death in the hope of seeing it (a silhouette could scream somewhere) - and it was easier for me because I really searched for him, and it was forced to live.

    In passersby, everywhere, and suddenly realized that I was slowly going crazy.

    And at that moment everything broke out.

    Now I hovering in an incomprehensible condition for me: I am between the sky and the earth.

    I am completely empty, I don't want anything, it seems to be life going on, but there is no me!

    3 months have passed as there is no my favorite son.

    It was not 30.09.2017.

    He 2.06 turned 27 years old.

    Heart failure.

    It happened in another city, and we were told about all horror 31.09 by phone.

    God! What why?

    He went to enter St. Petersburg in his favorite city. We ourselves from Estonia - Tallinn.

    I said everything to me: "Mommy, what can happen to me here? I am in the very beautiful city World. Everything will be fine!".

    And this is true - pain does not pass, and time, and the church, and prayers do not help calm this grief.

    I am not alone - there is another daughter, and she only turned her 10 years old.

    I understand that you have to live for my daughter, and finding the strength to make her life happy.

    But while it is not very good - she often sees like I cry.

    I communicate with my son's friends, and it gives me a little forces - what to remember him clever, kind, cheerful.

    He wrote poems and essay, and was a very talented and caring son and brother.

    Everyone who has lost their children is just living!

    And for the sake of the memory of our children it is necessary to live confidently, and find the forces do not block in your grief.

    Good evening, cute girls.

    I hate this day, this is a number.

    In the tearing calendar, immediately at the beginning of the year, we leave the leaf with this number.

    It does not become easier.

    It's like a cargo on the heart tied and said: Turning! And drag. And silent.

    No one is interested in your pain, your tears, your torment.

    It can only understand the one who survived it.

    I do not go to church, autotraining no longer helps.

    Became an evil, grumpy aunt.

    And you know, stopped afraid of something.

    I say that I think I will cut the "truth-uterus", I am going to go, so I stopped communicating with relatives who, instead of support after the funeral, came to me to take money for their urgent things.

    Then I realized that I would not turn my soul to anyone, show my tears and experiences.

    Now nothing worries me: neither crises nor bad weather, nor gossip at work, nothing.

    After all i used to live And he was afraid: it will be cut from work, here the head will scribble, here are people something will not think.

    And you are afraid of this end. Once and all!

    Open the gate - the death of a loved one, the beloved man came, and became the hostess in your house.

    It is everywhere: in your head, in your bed.

    At the table with you sits down every day.

    And every day you show her Fig - with anger, with hatred.

    And you live, and you do not go with the heads lowered with your head and gluable eyes, but straight looking into the eyes of people who are just waiting for you to rascist, you will be miserable, unhappy.

    No, girls!

    We must live and remember our boys!

    After all, they have only we, and we have only they.

    Hold on.

    Gone with friends to the billiard room.

    Parted at 20.00, and at 00.15 it was found on the railway platform.

    He brought abacus with life.

    I do not believe that my son can do it.

    In September, he himself entered the institute. Worked.

    We live in Moscow.

    How did it happen, and what did he do there?

    I go to church, it helps me very much.

    I pray in the morning and evening.

    We all forces and patience.

    God does not give tests that a person will not be able to survive.

    Cute friends, in a huge burn, I wrote earlier about my terrible loss of a single sony.

    And often return to this section.

    Very close feelings, the thoughts of most of you, girls, but I can't agree with Olga that God does not give a person a test more than he can withstand.

    About that is a lot of examples when unfortunate mothers went after their children.

    I will tell about myself: I became another person, there was no trace from a good heart woman.

    There is no pity, no compassion, only ashes.

    The world is dressed in black and gray tones.

    Like Oksana, I became angry and unpleasant.

    I, my soul, burned, destroyed the ruthless death of my only son.

    Saint Ignatius Bryanchaninov wrote that death is execution.

    Only executed not only the Son, but also me.

    Sorry if something wrong wrote.

    Very hard ...

    I also buried my son.

    Some fries killed him at work during the watch.

    There was no investigation, looked off.

    Now only money in price.

    Brought him to the zinc coffin.

    For some reason, it was not even crying for a month. But now I swallow several times a day.

    Waiting for a son home, I can not believe that it is no more.

    From 7 years he lost his parents, brought up in an orphanage.

    I do not go to church.

    Where is God, why so unfair?

    Billions steal, people are killed, and these mroza from fat are inflated and mocked the people, and God does not punish them.

    Tomorrow nine months, as a favorite son buried.

    Death broke out of my hands.

    I live, if you can say so.

    I do not believe that there is no it that I will never see, I will not hear his gentle "Mamule."

    And waiting, waiting ...

    Every second I think about him. I remember.

    He, as a sun, always with a smile.

    And now everything is filling, darkness, emptiness, which is not fill.

    Shouting, I will be paid every day. I can not cope.

    How to live, why? Why is that?

    Near the family of a senior son.

    They do not leave me, but it does not save.

    Son buried - 17 years in 2004, after 8 months Mom died, after 8 - mother-in-law.

    And my husband and now we live in the mountain, never will be easier.

    Hello!

    Suddenly, it seems ridiculous.

    I live, I do not know how.

    Hold on, attach, only time will help and put everything in its place.

    Save, Lord, parents and help them, who lost the most expensive - their children.

    Three years have passed, a little easier, but why sometimes it hurts ...

    Hello!

    In December 2017, he spent his son to regular competitions in another city.

    Three days after the game, phoned, I talked quickly, I hurried and told him: "Let's discuss everything in the evening?" ...

    After 30 minutes it was not.

    14 years old, handsome, clever.

    Two months have passed, as in delusion.

    It does not become easier.

    Infinite pain, despair.

    I have a youngest daughter, trying to somehow gather for her, but it is bad for me.

    Through the prism of grief everything seems to others - friends, relationships, life itself.

    Cute, kind people.

    I was looking for help, and went to your site.

    He was 33 years old, he returned from Watch.

    I spent an hour with him 2 hours before departure.

    Wife remained, two kids and my pain.

    She tears the heart, soul.

    I go like zombies, well, I do not understand anything.

    9 She passed, and not yet buried, we are waiting for, there are no news from Moscow.

    Batyushka said that it was necessary to humbly take the death of children, as the Virgin Mary took the death of his son Jesus Christ.

    I understand the mind, but there is no heart - because the soul with my son left me.

    I look at the photo, and I ask about one thing - so that I took me to myself.

    Valechka, dear, so I want to tell you the words of support, even on a piece to reduce your pain.

    But this is unreal.

    I lost the only son 2 years and 9 months ago, and no one facilitated my pain either on iota.

    There was a son in the soul, and now the pain.

    Cute, dear sister, hold on.

    It is unknown for which such a busy car is given.

    And you have to exist with it.

    My infinitely relatives, but invisible by the eye brothers and sisters.

    I just read all comments left by grief killed people.

    I hid eyes so that no one saw the tears of a man who has no right to advise you.

    My soul grieves next to you, bringing sorrow and loss through the heart.

    Please accept my sincere words of condolences and try to find the forces for the sake of those who stayed nearby. You need them.

    Excuse me.

    With a low bow, Dmitry Nikolaevich. And if it is extremely open - Dimka from the city of Moscow.

    Thank you, Dmitry, for the warm words of support.

    Dima, thank you for this site.

    For your sympathy and compassion.

    It costs a lot.

    Most people try to abstract from horror filled with unfortunate mothers.

    Even close people would seem, and they are distinguished, as if fearing "to infect."

    And there is no support in the temple: "God gave, God took." And how and how to live? ...

    Low bow to you, Dima, for participation.

    Thank you, Dima, and my expensive girlfriends in misfortune.

    Many ride, call, sympathize, and then all their life, care and problems.

    You remain alone, not counting the closest.

    In the afternoon at work, and how you come, you will look at the photo and you are with a wolf.

    No strength. It seems to understand what you need to stay, but I can not.

    I have 02.28.2017, a son died, right at work.

    I already wrote here.

    An angel child, an athlete with higher education, beautiful and soul, and body.

    God took him, just pulled out of life.

    Was the year, was it easier? Not.

    Pain, insult, feeling of injustice and indifference to first life values.

    All somehow immediately died.

    02/23/2018 I lost the most expensive person - the only son.

    He was only 33 years old.

    I can not believe that it is no longer, the pain of loss, emptiness.

    It seems he is somewhere near, but does not let me.

    Hands are torn, I can not do anything.

    He went home on this day, but never reached.

    After lunch, we still talked to him, and at 14-30 it was no longer it.

    I was so bad at that moment, I could see the heart that something was wrong with him.

    He began to call him on the phone, but he did not answer.

    And in the morning we learned that it was no longer.

    He was good, responsive, engaged in sports, but the ridiculous death broke his life.

    Probably, the truth says that God takes to himself the best, but why so early?

    First you do not understand how you can go to work, watch TV, sleep, walk, etc., because it is not, he will not come to you, he will not call.

    Only memories remained: you see his little, teenager, then the army, and here everything is over, in one moment.

    It's unbearable!

    It is sitting in your feeder, with this you continue your way.

    You know, I have always dreamed before, about different, and now how cut off.

    The day passed, well, okay.

    People fuss something: cars, loans, apartments, telephones are new.

    And you know that you don't need anything like that, look at the photo and ask: Well, tell me, at least once to hear: Mom, this is me.

    Empty, girls in the soul, empty.

    Dear moms, accept my most sincere condolences.

    Losing a child - above the human strength!

    Let our kids will be good on the clouds, and we will definitely meet with them and wrap firmly.

    01/31/2018 My son romance left life.

    Today is the sixth month as it is not.

    I really want to see him.

    I pay every day.

    I want to die to meet him.

    I do not want to live.

    In my head all the time son.

    Every day the date is approaching six months.

    I'm scared, it hurts to realize that there is already so much time of my child and that he will never come and call.

    On the Internet I saw information that, allegedly, I regret myself when I was crying, I suffer on my son.

    My good women read all your letters - I read and cried quietly.

    You saved me: For 2 weeks I have one thought - I do not want to live.

    My son, thank God, alive, but is in the SIZO.

    He is not a rapist and not a murderer, got there for his stupidity, for which he will answer.

    For us with her husband, this news was the end of the world, but, thank God that there were friends and relatives, no one turned away.

    You need to ask God for help and pray, he will definitely hear and help.

    Thank you very much.

    My son, he is 24 years old ... He died, and I do not know what I continue to do without him! My life was cut off. I do not want to live ...

    Dear Cotine Mom.

    I madly sorry for you, yourself and all the orphaned moms who wrote on this site.

    My sole son Sasha has no three years and two months.

    Three years of tears, despair, protest.

    Here Natasha writes that it is necessary to ask God to help, pray, and God will help. I did not help me.

    Good, poor Kottina Mom, I know how hard you are hard and hopeless.

    I would like to help with something, ease this universal pain. But I can only swim nearby ...

    Tell me, God, why did you do it?
    After all, I prayed and I asked you: to keep him like himself.
    Did you revenge for what I loved my son more than I love you?!
    What did you achieve the cruelty of yours?
    Only proved: you don't love people ...
    The soul screams, all the strings are rushing in it: what? What for?
    After all, he needed.
    I ask you a question.
    I am a mother! And I have the right to know this!
    M about l h and sh b?!
    So there is no answer ...
    Or do not you want to answer it?!

    Hello, moms!

    I, like you, lost your junior Son. He was 27 years old, and he died in a plane crash, which occurred on March 6, 2018 in Syria, in the city of Hmeymim. He guarded senior lieutenant.

    It was not one hot point, but unfortunately by the error of the pilot, 39 families were orphaned.

    I want to support you all in this huge mountain, I, like you are all, constantly crying.

    There were a lot of plans and prospects, but alas, there is such a terrible word fate.

    I try to survive only mind, the inner emptiness and indifference, I think that we are all experiencing.

    But there is one thing that gives me a chance to survive. My son would be opposed to me so suffering, he came to me on the third day after death, and showed how they died, this question was very municipal.

    It rarely comes, but it shows that he is all right. And I do not have the right to bring it.

    We must let our boys in heaven, otherwise we simply prevent them from our tears and thoughts, to find peace.

    We do as egoers who are hard and bad, forgetting that our boys brings only pain, and they protect us, can not go to the end of the heavens.

    We have a very strong connection with boys.

    I always felt it very much, and the son was always surprised that I called him precisely in difficult moments.

    I decided for myself that I love my son very much, and therefore I have no right to disappoint him.

    Somehow I asked him a question on the grave, whether he sees me and hears me, and at some point he saw on her thumb on her thumb, which went into the sky.

    I was very happy, thanked my cub, and promised that I would really try to disturb him.

    So I sink slowly. And I ask you everyone, let go of our sons gradually.

    We are unable to correct the situation, but to create peace - we can.

    We love them and for our sons, we must do it.

    If fate decided so, then we still have to finish something in this light.

    And our boys are always with us near, and protect us unreasonable. Hold on, girls, only we ourselves can help.

    Lyuba, thank you. Your appeal helped to think ...

    Poor, unhappy moms.

    No matter how much the child was, he for parents, especially for Mom, will remain a child.

    This grief destroys, and does not purify the soul of man.

    Empty in the soul, and life seems empty. I am also one of you.

    You can not live, die too, put a comma for now ...

    Awakening begins in words: I am now. The last eight months wake up it became incredibly hurt, the cold consciousness that I was still here, it comes not immediately ... I always loved to wake up, drove in the mornings from the bed with a smile, so happy that my boys never understood ... Probably, they thought that only people who do not understand one simple thing can enjoy a new day - now - this is not just a moment, it is a reminder that yesterday's lucky day moved on the day, past happy year For a year and sooner or later she will come .... Like, where to hurry ... I smiled and kissed them in the cheek ...))
    Now, in order to get up in the morning, you need time, you need to remember who I was before, as I looked, as I should behave ... Dressed, and by visiting the final "gloss" on the defeated and quite a demolish look, I remember what role I would have. I see no reflection in the mirror, rather a mute request: only getting to the evening.
    Maybe it is too, but on the other hand, my heart is broken as well as Mothers everyone here, I'm going to go on the bottom, Tone, there is nothing to breathe ... In my life there was at least some meaning when you felt that there really is someone Next, the soul all-simming you, who you love endlessly. My sole son was 20 years old. December 22, 2017 he did not. Egor tragically died ......
    They say than you are older, you have more experience. Full bullshit! Now I understand that over the years I have become much more stupid. After all, experience is not what is happening with a person, but what a person does with what is happening.
    ... For the first time in life, I do not know what is waiting for me, every day as in the fog. Nothing will change ...

    06.06.2018 at 15.40, the car shot down my daughter. She was 16 years old. 10 minutes before that, I spoke with her by phone. She came to me to work for a doctor. I work in the clinic. Came, there was such a sad. Also the rain went, wetted us until I accompanied her.

    Standing, looked after her, as if he felt that I would not see more. And I did not see.

    And then the nightmare of this day began. Could not get through. I thought why I did not reach the house. She was shot down the car near the house. At the stop.

    While I was driving until the ambulance was lucky, she died on the road. I came to the morgue. I did not believe until the last.
    And then I saw that she was lying in the blood - all from his head, to the feet. My girl. And there I died with her. So I live is incomprehensible as. It seems to breathe, and it seems not to breathe. I do not know. I feel behind the glass. As an aliens.

    This is a feeling of "life for glass" I have the fourth year. They live there, rejoice, people are fussing with their concerns, funny problems ... there are all familiar, friends, and even the church remained there ... And then I am alone, and longing, and tears, and insult, and hopelessness ... no strength ...

    05.08.2018, my loved one tragically passed from life, my only native son. He was only 21 years old. The feeling of guilt that I live, but it is not, does not leave for a minute.

    Every day I go to the cemetery. The day is just a hysterical, another day there is not even tears, just emptiness. From hopelessness you go crazy.

    At the end of June, my 22-year-old son killed my 22-year-old son, in the evening he went by car to the cottage to friends, did not reach - it was brutally shot at the unknown, and the car was put up for sale.

    My husband and brother themselves found the body of our boy (along the track from the beacon from the car, which was on my phone). The investigation continues, there are no results yet.

    My husband and I left alone, son Late, the only one.

    The son was very light, kind, smart, brilliantly graduated from college, served in the army (military driver), 11 months worked at the auto parts store by the cashier-consultant - almost everything managed for her short life, met with a girl, so many plans was.

    We are 52 and 61. Everything. Point. The meaning of life disappeared. We are waiting for meeting with your son. I go to the temple, I try to pray, confessing, coming, but somehow it is mechanically mechanically, not as before (when I was waiting for the son from the army).

    My son was held at 38 years old on July 10, 2018. Heart failure, did not save 2 resuscitation brigades. No signs of trouble. From ambulance station, I was answered that in Russia every year of such cases about 200 thousand. A year ago was in Jerusalem, I asked my health from God for him ...
    Now I live in another dimension - I remember it every minute.

    2 years ago on October 30, our only and best. Never take it. The pain killed everything inside the living, and not to explain it to anyone. It will only understand the one who survived. All relatives and friends disappeared. The world is cruel and unprincipled.
    I do not believe in God after the tragedy: the husband and I have come, and generally changed. Rejoice and laugh sincerely learned - there is no happiness without son. Many times visited the thoughts about suicide, but I understand that this is not a way out. I work, I go to the dance, distracts, but this is temporary self-deception.
    There is no full-fledged life without my favorite and native son, and there is no life. Everything around like artificial. Things that previously pleased, lost value. There is no value, I regret only your mother.
    When I was 13 years old, in 2000 my sister died tragically, she was 17 years old, and now we have the same story.
    Very hard. Psychics and fortune tellers are just making it on the mountain. There are no humanity, they are only interested in money. Already I do not know who to contact. We live something like.
    After the first year, I wanted to divorce my husband, but he had no one except me, then I realized that I could not do this. This is like betrayal of my son.
    We swore and accused each other. Then they realized that it was all meaningless.
    Psychotherapist could not help us.
    Sometimes I write poems, dedicate them to son. In those moments I get better, as if I talk to him. After his care, she wrote 6 poems of long and serious. It seems to me that he himself seemed to me that he could write. I began to write a book "On the Edge, Smey World". It is still under development. I am writing about the experiences and about silent grief.

    I read all the comments, driving out. It turns out that I am not alone! 2 months ago my son died. 2 weeks did not survive up to 22 years. In the summer we had a wedding. Even grandchildren did not have time to nourish. Such emptiness inside. Emptiness and pain! How to live on I do not know. Forces cry and suffer no longer. Holds the eldest daughter with grandchildren, but they are far away. Communicate by phone. Indeed, I don't want to do anything, one thought in my head: why, for what? Who needs it? The church does not help, it becomes even worse. It seems if I went to church before, I would save, squeezed. The feeling of guilt eats. I'm afraid I can't stand it! How not to accomplish irreparable? The husband also cries all day. He was generally the only one. So many hopes pinned at him! Also relatives and friends almost all refused. Who needs someone else's grief. In addition to his daughter, no one calls.

    Valechka, dear, I went to the church earlier, prayed to the Lord, a special Mother of God for my son ... nothing helped, no one defended the disease from Lutau. And now I am only worse from this ...

    I do not want anything else in this terrible life. Son buried the son in 2018 on January 31. I constantly think about him. There was not a single day, not one minute so that I did not think about him. I want to see him and really miss. Where is my son? Lord, where is my child? It's unbearable.

    On June 17, my son died. He was the only my child and close person. I execute myself that he could not help him and protect. He does not even come to me in a dream. How to make it calmly and good? Do I live on? I'm completely alone. Can I overwrite this tragedy with someone? I am very hard.

    Irina, hello. I have your namesake and hit me Mount Loss of the only son four years ago ...

    On July 19, my son died, my favorite son, this pain cannot be survived, maybe I start smoking, I once smoked, but can drink? He was 43 years old, fell under the screw of the boat in the water. I just can't survive, my heart is constantly whining, I don't want to believe in the whole nightmare. People, help !!!

"By the way, you did not answer me where I ask you to quote where I forbid the sorrow in brothers and sisters"

I did not write "prohibit grieving". There are no such words in my statement. I wrote, about what you think it has the right to tell his grief only a person who helped it, but all the others who have written above, and there were also brothers and sisters, they do not have the right. Here is the post of the girl who wrote to you:

"Schmelik herself is such a mother ... However, I also cut her post. In my family, there was also a tragedy and mom left after a brother after 1.5 years and she will not write a bumblebee not to the author. And I myself, as a child, brought brother instead of mom From the beginning of my mother's disease from 4 years old and up to 13 years old, I don't have the right to write about it. I didn't feel the right. "Skmelik is stronger

You did not tell her that she did not understand correctly, you did not correct it. Your answer was as follows:

"Anonymus, well, let me grin cynically for your remark. What could you cut in my post? You should understand how to put it mildly to listen to" horror stories"People (and which glory god did not survive this) about all this .. I represent how some kind of my neighbor he writes about me here. N-Daa ..."

And here the neighbors, and also a cynical smirk? She asked you directly, why in your opinion she has no right to tell about her brother. You are about her neighbors, while grinning cynically. Most likely it was misunderstanding, you were simply non-talking, because it means itself? But a person you did not say this. And the fusion has developed otherwise.

Well, on the previous two quotes, I already answered the post above.
"You really did not prohibit grieving, you just said the following for the manifestation"

Now it is clear where the dog is buried, I said not "on the manifestation of grief," and on your statement that with your point of view, it is impossible to share someone heavy grief, they should only survive him. This is what I meant under the word "react." That's all no more. When I said, you are wrong, I talked about this statement, you read for ourselves "You are not right in the manifestation of your grief." Although I have not spoken about it anywhere. Now I understood your robe on my approval Elizabeth Southter Schwarzer. And I could not understand why you react so much, because I write that her utterances were written by a separate article, in recommendatory form. For someone, her advice can be relevant for someone as, I wrote you already, they can harm, since we are experiencing in different ways. Now I understood, you thought I would condemn the manifestation of your grief, at the same time, I agree with her. :-) Yes, wise. I did not condemn you, I wrote you wrong in my statement in the first post, in my opinion. As you can see, I wrote "You are not right", having only your statement in this topic, you read "you are not right" meaning "manifestation of grief." Well, thank God to figure out and I think we'll disappear on that. It's time already, now it is clear that these were discrepancies and no more.